Commentary: White House Down (w/ Martin)

White-House-Down
IMDb
Just in time for the US Independence Day celebration, join Faldor (Martin from The Extended Edition) and me for a tour of the president’s mansion in Washington, DC, with your tour guide, Roland Emmerich! We praise–and occasionally knock–the CGI. We compare it to Olympus Has Fallen, obviously, Die Hard, other Roland Emmerich films, and Step Up to the Streets (not really).

I talk a bit about the geography of the White House and the nature of the Secret Service. We discuss 10 Downing Street, Jamie Foxx, my other website WhiteHouseMuseum.org, how sprinkler systems work, and why the PEOC only has black-and-white TVs.

We’re watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown with the Columbia title card after the Columbia logo.

Commentary: Highlander (w/ Jimmy B!)

HighlanderIMDb
Join Jimmy and me as we take a hard look at ’80s classic Highlander. It’s a film we both once loved but which has, like Connor McCloud, hasn’t changed at all while we’ve grown old and cynical. Jimmy loves his native Scotland, and we both respect and admire New York… within certain parameters.

We try to figure out the rules of the contest. We compare the film to other ’80s films discuss other films by Russell Mulcahy and… earrings and stuff. We do drift a little in the middle when the film wanders a bit and discuss American and UK TV standards and practices in the ’80s and now.

We end up getting explicit eventually, but not extensively.

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start after the logo, on the countdown.

Commentary: The Searchers (w/ Rob Caravaggio!)

SearchersIMDb
Join me and Rob Caravaggio as we scour the plains of Texas (or painted desert of Arizona, YMMV) for our kinfolk and become bitter, bitter men. We love the film and have a lot of fun talking about the text, the sub-text, and possibly some sub-sub-text. See the breathingest dead man on screen, the woodenest of wooden actors, and the most of whatever Mose is.

We don’t care for the music much or for some inherent prejudices in a film that ostensibly tries to say racial prejudice is bad. We analyze the use of humor, montage, and studio work. We compare the film to other Wayne-Ford films, Star Wars, Star Trek, and Adam Sandler’s failed Western.

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start along with the Warner Brothers logo (not after), on the countdown.

Show some love to John Pavlich

My thoughts and sympathies go out to John Pavlich in a time of hardship on the loss of his mother. His Sofa Dogs podcast is one of the first commentary sites on the Web. We bonded over Firefly and Community and a lot of crazy movies, and he’s always a bright spot in my movie watching/commentary listening pastime.

He deserves your attention for a moment if you can give him some support during this difficult time.

Go Fund Me page

Commentary: Cobra (w/ Jimmy B!)

CobraIMDb
Join me as I’m again joined by Jimmy B for a tender tale of romance about a fashion model and a lonely pizza-loving man named Marion. We compare it to other Stallone films, other ’80s action we’ve done commentaries for, and Hong Kong Phooey. Actually the Hong Kong Phooey stuff might be slightly off-topic, along with our attempt to answer the age-old question: what is brown sauce?

We don’t like the film and mock it as it deserves and yet confess a deep affection for it in that it transcends the Steven Seagal/JCVD stuff that came after it and seem modeled on it. Get your axes and motorcycle and join our cult!

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start after the Warner Brothers logo, on the countdown.

Commentary: Silence of the Lambs (with Sofa Dogs!)

Silence of the LambsIMDb
Join me as I join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs to get inside your head and figure out your weaknesses and use them against you. We analyze the unusual structure of the movie, play with different ways of looking at it, and try to figure out who the real villain is. (Chilton. It’s Chilton.)

We compare the film to other Hannibal Lector movies, Hitchcock and De Palma films, The X-Files, other horror movies and psychological thrillers, and YouTube videos. I complain about some fundamental aspects of the film despite loving it and do an impression of Lector and screaming lambs. John indulges me patiently and explains the parts I don’t understand.

NOTE: We’re explicit again for some repeated dialog.

We’re watching the Blu-ray version. Start the film after the Orion logo on the countdown.

Commentary: Beverly Hills Cop (w/ Jimmy B!)

BHCIMDb
Join me as I’m again joined by Jimmy B, this time for what is probably Eddie Murphy’s greatest film, and one that I regard as nearly perfect. We compare it to 48 Hrs, Cobra, and Midnight Run. We discuss Eddie Murphy’s career at some length. We impugn the LAPD. And we more-or-less fix Hollywood.
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WARNING: This is explicit again, but only just, since we just quote some dialog.

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start after the Paramount logo, on the countdown. Note that we talk for about 10 minutes beforehand so we don’t chat over the top of the amazing opening sequence.

Commentary: Reservoir Dogs (with Sofa Dogs!)

Reservoir Dogs
IMDb
Join me as I join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs to have a look at Quentin Tarantino’s other finest masterpiece. We discuss the indie film cred, the music, the dialog, the performances, and the inspirations.

We have a terrific time with it, and praise it thoroly–especially the cinematography–but find fun things to gently nitpick. We debate Mr. Pink (not really) and the timeline (not really). We compare it to Tarantino’s other films, Unknown (2006), The Killing, Kansas City Confidential, and Hamlet.

NOTE: I don’t think this commentary is explicit. It’s hard to remember, tho, because the movie has about 6000 f-bombs.

We’re watching the DVD version. Start the film after the Miramax logo on the countdown.

Commentary: Police Academy (w/ Jimmy B!)

Police AcademyIMDb
Join me and Jimmy B and my head cold as we enjoy a nostalgic romp thru our childhoods in an unknown city that is definitely not necessarily Los Angeles. We discuss the whole series (not that we’ll ever do commentaries for any of the others) and related properties (altho we forget about the toy set!) as well as the theme of diversity. We marvel at some of the stunts, try to decide which bits to cut, and praise Harris as a cop.

We compare the film to Stripes, Animal House, The Bad News Bears, Airplane, and Benny Hill and the Carry On films. We fret a little over the Blue Oyster Bar, altho forget that Steve Gutenberg didn’t need cred with the gay community after having starred in Can’t Stop the Music with the Village People.

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start after the Ladd Company logo has faded, on the countdown.

Commentary: Mission: Impossible 4 (w/ CTS!)

MI4 Ghost ProtocolIMDb
Join me and Mike of Commentary Track Stars as we watch the fourth and possibly best or most entertaining Mission: Impossible movie. We compare it to James Bond and Bourne movies, Indiana Jones, the other MI movies, the trailer, NSync videos, and life itself. We discuss the cinematography a lot and marvel at the stunts and lack of theme or motivational complication. We criticize the timetable and the familiarity of some plot elements and how the comedy ramps up when stakes are raised instead of vice versa, but we nevertheless like it a lot.

ATTENTION: We are now in the market for a programmer to make a facial recognition app to identify assassins for us.

We are watching the Blu-ray version. Start the film after the Bad Robot logo.

Running commentaries that you listen to while you watch the movie.