The Princess Bride (nonsense)

The Princes BrideNetflix IMDb
William Goldman edits Simon Morgenstern’s rollicking adventure of pirates and princesses, swordplay and swamps down to “the good parts,” and I put all the missing pieces back in, carefully reconstructing the original narrative, in all its gruesome, graphic, weird, and perverse detail. Altho there’s no vulgar language, this commentary is rated M for mature.

Among other things from the original Morgenstern version of the story, I explain:

  • How Buttercup comes from a family of hookers
  • What happened to Westley—and the letters he wrote to Buttercup—while he was on the Revenge
  • Where Inigo’s father hid the sword so Inigo could still have it
  • The many layers of family man, scientist, and charity patron Vizzini
  • What Westley’s body originally said he had reason to live for
  • Who lost what limbs in the course of the story
  • How Inigo could take several wounds and yet get stronger
  • The truth about Inigo’s father’s fate

Additionally, I explain:

  • Simon Morgenstern’s background, and who in the story represents him
  • Who in history learned the hard way that a land war in Asia is a bad idea
  • Whether or not I would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley, the Dread Pirate Sue-Ellen, or the Dread Pirate Sheldon
  • What parts George Lucas stole for Star Wars from the original novel and therefore couldn’t be used in this movie
  • How Buttercup’s best character moments are utterly disastrous
  • Whom Inigo should have asked about a six-fingered man
  • How a wood-and-porcelain artificial bowel works

Wait for my countdown to start the film with the MGM lion. (47 MB)

3 thoughts on “The Princess Bride (nonsense)”

  1. I would just like to say that this commentary made me laugh. If someone not in on the joke listens to this, they may actually try to get hold of the original book, based on your ‘thoughts’ on it. Brilliant. Oh, and have you ever read the customer reviews for Goldman’s book on Amazon? Especially the one-star reviews. Either these people are idiots or geniuses 😀

  2. You got me. And I really wanted to read that twisted version of the story. It sounds MUCH more interesting.

    Thank you

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