Netflix — IMDb
Avast and ahoy, matey! There be monsters here! Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas arise out of the ’80s to attack a defenseless mega shark and an innocent giant octopus with submarines. Join me as I watch this SyFy channel video nasty for the very first time and marvel at the fake buttons, Ed Wood sets, and hot scientist-on-scientist action. I sing a little Debbie Gibson and call Lorenzo Lamas “Fernando Lamas” a couple of times (they’re father and son).

Also, I misquote Jaws* and Jerry Maguire** somewhat.

* “The thing about a shark… he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes.”
** “D’you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds? … D’you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?”