I am joined by my padawan nephew “Noron” for a rip-roaring adventure in space with droids and stormtroopers and everything in a commentary for the first (chronologically) of the Star Wars films (special edition cut). Together we contemplate the value of an escape pod that dumps you in the middle of a giant desert, the wisdom of Jawas not to wipe the memories of the droids they find, and the likelihood of a giant aquatic snake getting onto a space station.
We try to figure out Darth Vader’s rank in relation to the various Moffs and Grand Moffs in this and the next movie, and how Peter Cushing could have been the good guy in old vampire movies when he looks like a vampire in this movie. We mull over the value of droids that can barely walk or roll, have no arms, and can’t speak; narrow walkways without railings; and a headset on a wookiee [sic] that just goes “Aaawr!” One of us laments the loss of Porkins and Biggs, and one of us roots for the death of Biggs. Why? You won’t believe the reason.
Start the commentary right after the 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm logos have faded, along with the music, on the countdown.