- Watch it for the first time
- Compare it extensively to the original Herman Melville novel (it’s about a guy hunting a whale)
- Pick apart the intricacies of the plot (guy hunts whale, whale tries to eat aircraft in peace)
- Analyze the symbolism (leg = penis; whale = thing that eats penises)
- Get my 1978 Battlestar Galactica references all wrong (Starbuck = Apollo, Cassiopeia = Serina, robot dog = son, “biddi-biddi-biddi” = Twiki from Buck Rogers)
- Review whale biology (female whales have udders, right?)
- Never, ever compare it to Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, which this is better than
I praise the sets, CGI, directing, and acting—where appropriate (I’m lookin’ at you, guy-with-the-blank-stare-of-a-cow). And I complain that everything is lit like an Italian restaurant. Enjoy!
Start the movie with the countdown just as the mountains fade up.