Jonah Hex

Jonah HexNetflix IMDb
Join me (or don’t; seriously) as I take my first look at Jonah Hex, the heartwarming story of a disfigured man who finds love with a hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold and yet abandons her. Also, John Malkovich tries to destroy America with his liberal agenda. And by “liberal” I mean the liberal application of cannon fire. Note, however, that he does this with a boat and not something crazy like a giant mechanical spider and entertaining dialog.

Josh Brolin is Jonah Hex because it would have been silly to cast, say, Will Smith in the role of a cowboy given a mission to save the country by President Grant. Aiden Quinn is President Grant because Kevin Kline wasn’t available. And Megan Fox is the girl who helps out but doesn’t stay with him because Salma Hayak was not orange enough.

Start the movie on the countdown at the black screen between the Warner Brother logo and the Legend Films logo.

One thought on “Jonah Hex”

  1. I wish I watched this film drunk, then me & my girlfriend would not have spent so much time ripping into this film, and would proberly be not so bitter about wasting 80ish minutes of our life watching it!

    I am sure we also could not understand why everything exploded all the time.

    An article in ‘Empire’ film magazine seemed to say the shoot was a nightmare. Nevermind, I am sure it will be ripe for a ‘reboot’ in 20 yrs time!

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