Harry Potter is back! Join me as we watch him on the Jumbotron, competing in the Quadwizard Tournament against dragons, dancing, merfolk, and bushes. I explore Dumbledore’s willful mispronunciations, Ron’s many alternatives to going to the ball in a costume rejected by Jon Pertwee, and the likelihood of what appears to be half a dozen Death Eaters terrorizing what seems to be 100,000 or so wizards at the Quidditch World Cup.
I again ask the question “Why does any of this happen?” I put forth a clear and concise alternative for Barty Crouch, Junior’s ridiculous plan. I propose an explanation as to why the tournament must go on. I maintain my theory that Filch and Mrs. Norris are married. And I explore the possibility that Hermione gave the big V to Viktor, if you know what I mean.
I’m watching the standard-edition Blu-ray. Start the film right as the Warner Brothers logo zooms by, on the countdown.