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Pimp my ride
2004.05.12 — Culture | Automotive | Satire | by Derek Jensen
I went shopping for wheels recently at Tire Rack and ended up buying some nice chrome wheels and low profile tires for my 99 Miata. But I long for the kind of complete makeover that you see on the new show Pimp My Ride. On the website for the show, you can pimp a ride of your own. But my designs are full custom.
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Big Pimpin', baby. 'Nuff said. |
To earn a little extra, maybe a cab design would help.
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Twenty cents a mile, baby, and I'll take you anywhere. |
I have problem with spedomania (not the same as speedomania, mind you, which is an unhealthy fascination with Speedos). Maybe a cruiser design would help me cut down on citations from the Man.
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Assume the position, baby. |
On the other hand, a fire engine look could avoid the age-old loaded question "Where's the fire?"
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Out of my way, baby. I got an emergency. |
Or, for an all-out up-yours to authority, maybe a WW2 P-51 Mustang design is appropriate.
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Join the Mile-High Club, baby. |
BMW Z3 makeovers
My brother-in-law recently bought a BMW Z3. It's a sweet ride as-is, but imagine what a major pimp-over could accomplish.
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I'm the Notorious D.A.D., baby. |
He's a big golfer, so I worked one up in that theme.
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I got no time for hos, baby. I got to hit the links. |
He's also a big Michigan fan. Note the football side mirror and the Heisman hood ornament.
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Not when the game is on, baby. |
f e e d b a c k
Sam writes:
all of your cars suck iam the alltomat pimper
Derek replies:
Thank you for hating the play and not the player. I'm sure you're a stone hardcore pimp, my man.
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