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Terrorist: “Bush has won me over”"How I decided to attack America only if John Kerry is elected" 2004.10.19 Government | Politics | Campaign 2004 | Satire | by BB Rodriguez
As told to BB Rodriguez by Abu Muqtar al Faid. I read recently how filthy infidel Dick Cheney made the claim that if Americans voters make "the wrong choice" America could "get hit again" by terrorists: It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States. I'm here to tell you, America, it's true. If you elect filthy infidel John Kerry, I am going to get medieval on your fat American backsides. Why? Because filthy infidel George W Bush has won me over. Yes, I was on the fence about filthy infidel Bush for a while, but now I see that he has such resolve that I can only admire him. Filthy infidel Kerry, on the other hand, is a flip-flopper. I spit on his name. Altho I am not from Iraq originally, I have recently emigrated there for the wealth of opportunities to kill Americans. Filthy infidel Bush says he has destroyed 75% of al Qaida leadership. That's an impressive figure, altho I have been unable to confirm it because our organization is so secretive and scattered, in and out of Iraq. Some members certainly have been killed or captured, of course, and it has taken us weeks to recruit new members to replace them. For some, the paperwork is still going thru.
But what really changed my mind about filthy infidel Bush was seeing what a tremendous mess he is willing to tolerate in the Middle East. The American president's plan to democratize Arab countries plays right into our hands. When America has destabilized the region, thousands will flock to our cause. Many Americans will come here to fight us, so we will not have to go to America to attack them. Clearly, if filthy infidel Bush is re-elected, we will be able to establish an Islamic theocracy and export jihad around the world.
Filthy infidel Kerry, on the other hand, has bombed no one and authorized the torture of no prisoners. In fact, he has actively denounced it. This seems like an obvious sign of weakness to me. If he is elected, Kerry will pursue more moderate policies toward the Middle East, possibly even actually achieving secular democracy and minimizing the influence of terrorist organizations like mine. On the other hand, with filthy infidel Kerry in the White House, we should be able to attack America will impunity. Obviously, filthy infidel Kerry will waffle hopelessly. This will be little consolation, tho, if our support among Arabs has dwindled due to peace and prosperity brought on by a change in American policy. So, I warn America: vote Bush/Cheney or suffer the wrath of Allah's chosen warriors! "Terrorists for Bush/Cheney 04" is a 527 organization not associated with the Bush/Cheney campaign.
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