|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Media hacks hot on trail of missing pretty white girl
2005.07.30 — Business | Television | News | Satire | by BB Rodriguez
Media hack (artist's conception). [source] |
It's been two months, two long months, since Natalee Holloway went missing in Aruba. Why, oh why, can't Fox News find her? It's not like they aren't devoting all possible time and attention to the effort. O! Cruel fate! CNN's Nancy Grace is on the case, too. Every day. She's like a pit bull terrier crossed with a self-righteous falcon. All the cable news channels are desperately seeking Natalie, sending correspondents to those wind-swept beaches, beating the bushes for leads, and endlessly, vulturously yakking it up.
"Please, please, sweet Jesus, let it be those black guys who were fired as bouncers," they prayed at first. And now it's, "oh, Christ, please, it's got to be the rich Dutch guy," ...with the made-for-TV-comedy name of Joran Van Der Sloot.
The media hacks play along with the idea that this girl may still be alive even tho they all believe her to be dead. They're hoping she's not, of course, because she would be one hell of a guest. Really. If you don't think they've already budgeted cash for rights to the exclusive, you're mistaken. She'd be offered a sackful of folding money to do news channel interviews, morning show appearances, and a TV movie on Fox (in the case of Fox News), NBC (in the case of MSNBC), or HBO (in the case of CNN). It makes one wonder if some of that million dollar reward money might be coming out of Rupert Murdoch's Swiss piggy bank.
It's a phenomenon that already has a snarky name: "missing white woman syndrome." |
It's a phenomenon that already has a snarky name: "missing white woman syndrome." It's really more of a phenomenon than a syndrome, but it was invented by other media hacks, so what can you do?
Full disclosure note: We at Tysto helped expand the Wikipedia article linked above.
In technical terms, missing white woman syndrome is a type of media circus, like celebrity trials, babies in wells, and lecherous teachers. It's never a black girl, a Hispanic woman, or an Asian man. If you're a dude or a member of any minority, you'd have to disappear in a cloud of smoke on live television to get any attention.
[A] pretty, middle- to upper-class girl or young woman is missing. Foul play is suspected. |
Typically, the story breaks on a relatively slow news day: a pretty, middle- to upper-class girl or young woman is missing. Foul play is suspected. The police are asking for tips. Be on the lookout. Details at the top of the hour.
And the details pour in: she was blond; she was a cheerleader; she liked puppies; her parents are distraught. Newspapers and magazines pick up the story in the next few days. Investigative reporters scour the countryside for any information or, lacking that, opinion and speculation. Perhaps security camera video of the parking lot where she disappeared becomes available, showing blurry black-and-white figures milling about. Family pictures of her appear to accompany the story: dressed in a formal, hugging her dog, mugging with friends. She gets her own theme song and bumper graphic: Midwestern Nightmare: Day 12.
[T]he police investigation is much too slow for the lightning pace of the 24-hour cable news channels. |
Unfortunately, the police investigation is much too slow for the lightning pace of the 24-hour cable news channels. They devour the real information and slaver for more. They start bringing on pundits with a law background to talk about the case. Is there a boyfriend? What is her father like? Were there any suspicious handymen hanging around? What's the profile of a kidnapper or killer who chooses this sort of girl as a victim?
Friends and family are invited on for interviews. Law enforcement spokespersons are grilled for information. Pundits are invited to speculate wildly. The television news show hosts monitor the coverage by other news media, and the insulated speculation shows grows into a kind of false consensus: it must have been the boyfriend, the husband, the father, the bespectacled passer-by.
[T]hey also have the approximate accuracy of lightning: they hit whatever is most prominent. |
But the TV news media are not only lightning-fast, they also have the approximate accuracy of lightning: they hit whatever is most prominent. Suspicion merely focuses on the least likeable adult male identified by the police as a "person of interest."
Then come the accusations. Why haven't the police made an arrest? Are they stupid? Are they incompetent? Isn't it obvious who the murderer is? Sometimes, the suspects themselves are even invited on the news shows and asked pointed and accusatory questions directly. Now, that's not all bad, of course. Some of them even turn out to be guilty.
I recall a seminal moment in journalism about half-way thru the Scott Peterson trial when Dennis Miller asked his own invited guest news reporter "Why should I care about this? The guy's guilty." The reporter stammered thru a valiant attempt to explain that a trial is where we as a society determine whether or not the guy actually is guilty. Miller wasn't paying attention; he was reknotting his noose.
[Family members] lobby for some new monogrammed law to "ensure this never happens again." |
Let's not forget the inevitable website with detailed information about the case... then the charity foundation founded by the family. If the victim hasn't been found yet, they first offer a reward; and later they provide scholarships or aid to the families of the victims of similar tragedies... and lobby for some new monogrammed law to "ensure this never happens again."
Eventually, the news media gradually lose interest. The case is either resolved by a confession or a genuine news story comes along to dominate coverage. A few follow-up mentions come when the killer is sent to prison, but otherwise the story falls off the editorial desk.
Don't worry. Pretty soon there will be another pretty, white, middle- to upper-class girl to track down. And the media hacks will be on the case.
f e e d b a c k
Respond to this page by your e-mail client. Please be sure to mention the title of the article.
