|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The world is a safer place... when this man is on vacation
2005.08.23 — Government | George W Bush | by BB Rodriguez
Inkin Lincoln, I've been thinkin'. What the heck have you been drinkin'? [source] |
Junior is out at the ranch again, this time finally busting the record for presidential vacation time. Can we expect a proud, echoing speech to an adoring crowd? "I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth."
He loves cycling and fishing, clearing brush, and kicking back with a good plate of ribs to watch some pre-season football. Knock yourself out, George, because the world is better off when you are out of town.
We don't have to worry about any new wars getting started or any major gaffes being committed (by him, anyway). We don't have to think so hard about all the graft and corruption his cronies commit, or any new legislation being wrtten by corporations and their lobbyists.
[W]e don't have concern ourselves about why he's not finding Osama bin Laden... or securing loose nukes because we know why: He's not doing shit. |
We don't have to worry about him incarcerating any more citizens and suspending their right to counsel and trial or extraditing them to foreign countries with abysmal human rights records. And we don't have to concern ourselves about why he's not finding Osama bin Laden or conducting useful talks with North Korea or Iran or pushing for sensible safeguards against our hazardous chemical facilities or moving on that plan to secure loose nukes because we know why:
He's not doing shit.
He's in Crawford, Texas, kicking the horseshit off his boots, tilting the cowboy hat back on his head and mopping his forehead with the latest report on the torture of "enemy combatants" or the other report that says hardly any of them actually are enemy combatants. Hey, it's hard work, friends.
[A]s long as Junior is on vacation, it means that he won't be appointing anyone to sensitive diplomatic positions who is generally regarded as an asshole.... |
But as long as Junior is on vacation, it means that he won't be appointing anyone to sensitive diplomatic positions who is generally regarded as an asshole by everyone who has ever come in contact with him. It means he won't be issuing any more weasely statements about why he's not going to fire Karl Rove for being a smearaholic (he's addicted to smearahol!) who accidentally-on-purpose exposed one of the CIA's actually competant covert operatives. And it means that he won't be handing out any more medals to people who were architects of the worst intelligence failure and worst nation-building effort since... well, since the British cobbled together Iraq in the first place.
Ahh, yes. Relax, George. Put your feet up. Lie back and dream of milking horses.
UPDATE: Shit! Hurricane! Run for your lives! It's every man for himself! Junior can't help you! Call his dad!
f e e d b a c k
[an error occurred while processing this directive]