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The Legend of Zorro review
2005.12.07 — Entertainment | Movies | Movie Reviews | by Andrew Cole
Zorro the arsonist. [official site] |
It's called The Legend of Zorro, but a better title would have been The Marriage of Zorro or maybe My Big Fat Zorro Family. Antonio Bandaras returns as the great swordsman Don Alejandro and Catherine Zeta-Jones as his wife Elena, the great swordswoman. This time, they have a precocious boy who idolizes the mysterious Zorro but holds his indolent, monied father in low esteem.
The main crux of the film seems to be that Elena is irritated that her husband is spending so much time away from home... in town... you know... saving people's lives and fighting tyranny.
Yes, a divorce. In 1850 Catholic Spanish California. |
And so, Elena asks Alejandro for a divorce. Yes, a divorce. In 1850 Catholic Spanish California.
But from such improbable acorns mighty oaks do grow. Elena has some secrets herself which, oddly, don't seem to impinge upon her mothering duties. The story begins with the effort to make California a US state and free it from the crushing tyranny of... some sort. The filmmakers seem to believe that California was still under the control of Mexico, even tho it actually declared itself a republic in 1846.
Martin Campbell... directed The Mask of Zorro... and a bunch of grade school theatrical presentations.... |
The film is directed by Martin Campbell, who directed The Mask of Zorro as well Goldeneye and a bunch of grade school theatrical presentations, some of which were filmed for television and one of which starred Ray Liotta as a guy sent to a futuristic prison island and was freaking hilarious. It was written by the team of Orci and Kurtzman, best known for their scintillating Alias episodes.
It might all be bearable if it weren't for the ridiculous comic episodes.... |
The plot involves a strange cabal that intends to hasten the Civil War, which the characters actually refer to as "the Civil War" and already has a Confederate army even tho it's eleven years away and will happen on the other side of the continent.
Elena and Zorro find themselves working at cross-purposes again, as only bickering true loves can. It might all be bearable if it weren't for the ridiculous comic episodes in which little Zorro Junior savagely attacks his teacher, papa Alejandro makes an ass of himself at a wine-tasting (...in 1850 Spanish California), and two officials take repeated blows to the head without injury.
Fried Green Zorros isn't such a bad movie. It has a few spectacular stunts, especially near the end, and the plot keeps steaming along fast enough to mostly cover the embarrassing bits. But overall, the film gives the impression of having been written by the staff of Sabado Gigante or some other comedy on Telemundo in which grown men dress as sheepish schoolboys and horses smoke pipes.
Ay, carumba.
f e e d b a c k
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