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Why not Condi? Why not now?
2006.05.18 — Government | Politics | Satire | by Derek Jensen | by Mark Beckstrom
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Doctor Madame Secretary. |
If the Democratic Party decides to run Hillary Clinton in 2008 for the presidency, the lure of the first woman president, together with the residual goodwill for her husband, could catapult her to the Oval Office. How could Republicans stop her? Not by running John McCain. He's lost much of his maverick flavor by cuddling with George W Bush and Jerry Falwell. And, besides, maverick Bush-bashing is a schtick many other Republicans in Congress have picked up. One person who can't be beaten with that schtick and who can go toe-to-toe with Hillary in the evening gown competition is Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Of course, she's also cuddled with George W Bush, but she had to; it's her job.
One person... who can go toe-to-toe with Hillary in the evening gown competition is... Condoleezza Rice. |
Of course, we're not the first to imagine Condi as a potential presidential candidate. Laura Bush has voiced her support. She's smart; she's savvy; she's a doctor, not a lawyer (well, not a real doctor; just a doctor of political science—kind of like Doctor Kevorkian is a medical doctor). She's a good writer (altho everybody makes mistakes). And she speaks Russian (altho she gets her das and nyets mixed up). She's even humble enough to turn down Chevron's attempt to name an oil tanker after her. Seriously.
And of course, she is, famously, the person who, in her role as National Security Adviser, told Congress that "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US" was a "historical" document. You know, like the Constitution or yesterday's newspaper.
[S]he is, famously, the person who... told Congress that "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US" was a "historical" document. |
Somehow, despite this fantastic resume, Rice says she doesn't want to run for president. Now maybe that thought is colored by her experience with the Bush 2 administration; yet who better to know what not to do as president than one who has for several years been in the same room as the Decider himself? Her real dream, she divulged to Tim Russert, is to be commissioner of the National Football League, so she understands the concept of a draft. Surely she could be drafted as a presidential candidate.
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