All posts by Derek Jensen

Ex Machina

ex-machinaIMDb

Join Drew and me and a silent Asian girl for a look into the darkest fantasies of computer nerds: talking to a pretty girl behind a glass wall. We examine the genre, theme, inspiration, and dance moves. We compare it to other Alex Garland films, other streaming films, porn, Greek tragedies, Star TrekRoboCop, Jurassic Park, Battlestar Galactica, Frankenstein, Dracula, Pinocchio, and porn. And we do an unpaid advertisement for Amazon Video.

We imagine ourselves in the Caleb role, the Nathan role, the Ava role, and the helicopter pilot role. We have a lot of questions about Kyoko. I namecheck Nunavut and Yellowknife (I know Yellowknife is not in Nunavut). We speculate on where the movie is set, how the house is designed and supplied, and how many hookers are buried on the grounds. And we try to figure out who the villain is.

We’re watching via Amazon Video streaming. It’s free on Prime right now! Start right after the Universal logo on the countdown.

Batman (1966)

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Olly is back, and this time we’re scrutinizing the fine details of Adam West’s Batman. We both love the film for what it is, and praise the cast, writing, and set design. We elaborate on the acting careers of the fine cast and crew. And we analyze its influence (I push the connections to Batman Returns, but perhaps too far).

We speculate on the manufacture of batsuits but discreetly do not mention that this batsuit, like Joel Schumacher’s, has nipples (of the 100% natural variety). We note the notable lack of catness of Catwoman and analyze the rooming relationships between the villains. And we think about all the things we should not think about when it comes to dehydrating and rehydrating people.

I’m watching the Netflix version; Olly is watching the Region 1 DVD; and we stay in sync. Start at on the countdown.

Muppet Movie

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Pop in your copy of this all-American (and some British) classic while Jimmy and I gush over just about every aspect of it. We compare it to Citizen Kane and Fellini’s 8 1/2 and Bicycle Thieves (not in so many words, but basically) and all other great films as well as several other things. It’s a road movie, a coming-of-age movie, a hero’s-journey movie, and a falling-in-love-with-a -pig movie. I forget to mention Italian commedia dell’arte, but it’s that too. It’s all things to all people.

We keep it clean and cordial. I do the world’s greatest impression of Kermit the Frog. We evaluate Doc Hopper’s business case. We reveal the shocking origin of Telly Monster. We have a falling out over mixing Sesame Street with Muppet Show characters and whether it’s okay to fall in love with a chicken. But it’s okay; we makes up over our shared hatred of Elmo. And we answer the musical question “why are there so many songs about rainbows?” (and you may not like the answer).

We’re watching the Blu-ray and stay in sync. Start at on the countdown.

Switch to Blubrry PowerPress

After many complaints about broken downloads, I’ve finally fulfilled my promise to switch to another MP3 player/downloader plugin, Blubrry PowerPress. I thought it was going to be a hassle but turned out to consist of confirming some settings and disabling the old plugin, so now I feel like an ass for not doing it sooner.

Hopefully that solves the problem and all will be well in Tystoland.* Please let me know if you encounter any problems.

This success has encouraged me to make a couple of other changes, namely adding a Twitter feed for the joint Tysto-Zarban twitter account, and changing the picture in the upper right.

* Tystoland is a wholly-owned subsidiary of TystoZarban Productions Incorporated, a division of Halliburton.

Young Frankenstein

Young FrankensteinIMDb

Join me along with Olly (last name unknown, possibly Fronkensteen) as we peer into the dark depths of taboo science and cinema with Mel Brooks’ and Gene Wilder’s wonderful Young Frankenstein.

We compare it to other Frankenstein movies, other Mel Brooks movies, other Gene Wilder movies, and Brief Encounter. Olly explains how Brooks and Wilder were both crazy in different ways. We insult Gene Wilder’s hair. We discuss back-door pilots and how this movie should not be set in Transylvania and why a mad scientist would dress his monster in a suit.

We discuss the Dr Frankenstein/Frankenstein’s Monster mixup and try to name the monster. We wish Gene Wilder had “gone the Bill Murray route”. And I try to get Olly to say “Blucher“.

We’re watching it at NTSC (American) speed. Start right after the 20th Century Fox logo on the countdown.

Thin Man, The

Thin ManIMDb

Olly is back after a long absence to drink cocktails and discuss the intricacies of the Myrna Loy and William Powell classic The Thin Man. Olly compares it to the book and to the TV show.

We analyze the relationship between Nick and Nora and compare it to other movie and TV couples. We compare the plot to other films in the series and other films of other sorts and to Agatha Christie. I mistakenly say Alan Ladd’s The Glass Key was first person point of view when it was Robert Montgomery’s The Lady in the Lake. Olly confesses to only having seen one Kevin Bacon movie, which I like to imagine was White Water Summer but probably wasn’t. So I explain Wild Things to him, which may make your head hurt.

We discuss Hitchcock’s use of leading men and humor and how it compares. We discuss how Asta is virtually useless and how Nick is not really all that insightful of a detective. And we plan on remaking it in 3D. Also, I badmouth Alan Ladd repeatedly and explain how everyone in The Maltese Falcon was gay.

We’re watching it at NTSC (American) speed. Start right after the MGM logo on the countdown.

Mad Max 4: Fury Road

IMDbMad Max: Fury Road

SMEAR YOUR FOREHEAD WITH GREASE! SPRAY YOUR FACE WITH CHROME! DRINK GUZZLEINE IN VALHALLA WITH DONALD TRUMP’S GRANDSON IMMORTAN JOE TRUMP! IT’S MAD MAX: FURY ROAD! WITH JIMMY B! AND ENGINE NOISES! AND ELECTRIC GUITAR! AND a Skype dropout at 1:17:05 but we fix it and everything and HEAD BACK TO GET US SOME WATER!