Entertainment

Pirates of the Caribbean 1: Curse of the Black Pearl breakdown

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A swordsmith and a friendly pirate chase a pirate ship to rescue a pretty girl and get more than they bargained for when they learn the pirates are cursed.

Many years ago, I did a commentary for this movie.

I’m breaking down movies by their three-act structure. What is three-act structure? I explain it here.

Note: I break the story down into five-minute blocks to make it easier to see the length of each section. Rough time codes follow.

Prolog

Young Will is rescued at sea. Young Elizabeth hides his gold coin. 5

Act 1

Elizabeth wakes up. Will delivers a fine new sword. 10

Jack Sparrow makes port at Port Royal. 15

Elizabeth falls into the sea. Jack saves her from drowning. 20

Jack is defeated in a duel by Will and sentenced to hang. (introducing a subplot and secondary conflict before the central plot?!) 25

Barbossa’ Black Pearl attacks Port Royal (introducing the villain). 30

Elizabeth is captured for her gold coin (introducing the central conflict). Port Royal is sacked… by undead pirates. 35

Act 2

Elizabeth offers her gold coin. Barbossa keeps her for her blood. 40

Will frees Jack in exchange for help rescuing Elizabeth. 45

Will and Jack steal the Interceptor. 50

Jack and Will make port at Tortuga to find a crew. 55

Midpoint Crisis

Elizabeth learns about the pirates’ curse. (This is several minutes early, and that should have been fixed by cutting a few minutes from the second half, which is a little flabby.) 60

Jack recruits a pirate crew and sets sail for Isla de Muerta. 65

Fearing betrayal, Will knocks Jack out again. 70

Elizabeth’s blood fails to lift the curse. Will rescues her and leaves Jack. 75

Jack tries to barter information for the Black Pearl. 80

The Black Pearl pursues the Interceptor. 85

The Black Pearl destroys the Interceptor. 90

Will negotiates the release of the others for his blood. But Barbarossa maroons Jack and Elizabeth on an island. 95

Act 3

Elizabeth signals Norrington’s Dauntless for rescue. 100

Back on Isla de Muerta, Jack convinces the pirates to take the Dauntless. 105

Barbossa has his undead crew attack the Dauntless. 110

Jack frees Will and fights Barbossa. The pirates take the Dauntless. 115

Elizabeth frees Jack’s crew. They steal the Pearl. 120

Will lifts the curse. Barbossa dies. The pirates surrender. (resolving the central conflict) 125

Will declares his love for Elizabeth and saves Jack from hanging. (resolving the secondary conflict) 130

Epilog

Jack escapes to the Pearl. Will is released to marry Elizabeth. 135

Entertainment

Superman Returns breakdown

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Mysteriously gone for five years, Superman returns to Metropolis to find Lois has a son with another man and Lex Luthor has another catastrophic real estate scheme.

Many years ago, I did a commentary for this movie.

I’m breaking down movies by their three-act structure. What is three-act structure? I explain it here.

Note: I break the story down into five-minute blocks to make it easier to see the length of each section. Rough time codes follow.

Prolog

Legend: Superman disappeared for five years (suggesting this is the late 1980s, after Superman 2, but it’s not clear, which causes problems with Lois’s character later, since in Superman 2, she slept with Superman but he wiped her memory at the end). 5

Act 1

A dying woman wills her fortune to Lex Luthor. Superman falls to earth on the Kent farm. 10

Lex finds the Fortress of Solitude and learns the secrets of Krypton (introducing the conflict, sort of, with the villain). 15

In the morning, Clark reminisces about his childhood. 20

Clark and Martha talk. Clark returns to Daily Planet. Lois has a son with a pilot named Richard. 25

Jimmy says Lois might still love Superman (introducing a sub-plot conflict, which make the circumstance of Lois’ long relationship with Richard its villain, not Richard himself). Lex tests Kryptonian tech and causes an EMP. 30

Lex’s EMP endangers Lois’s flight. Clark sees it on the news. 35

Act 2

Superman rushes to aid Lois (even tho he has no conflict with Lex; he’s just being Superman and it happens to be in response to an incidental side effect of Lex’s plan). 40

Superman and Lois meet again. Perry declares Superman the big story. 45

Clark meets Lois and Jason, her young son by? with? Richard White (it’s not spelled out; it’s Superweird). Lex prepares for an expedition. 50

Superman spies on Lois’s home life (which is Supercreepy) then stops bank robbers. 55

Lex steals some Kryptonite. 60

The Daily Planet team discusses the news. 65

Kitty rants at Lex. Lois and Clark work late. 70

Lois and Superman talk. He takes her for a flight (which is Superawkward). 75

Midpoint Crisis

Lois says she’s with Richard now. Superman discovers his crystals have been stolen. (The crisis for the plot and the crisis for the sub-plot.) 80

Lois goes to Lex’s mansion and takes Jason onto his yacht (which is Superdumb), and she and Jason get kidnapped. 85

Lex reveals his plan and puts it into action (introducing a ticking clock, altho only Lois knows it). Clark and Richard search for Lois. 90

Lois faxes her coordinates but is caught and locked up after Jason protects her by killing a guy (which is Superdark), revealing he is Superman’s son (which Lois apparently knew, but how much Jason and Richard know remains a mystery). 95

Richard and Clark get Lois’s fax. Separately, they rush to save her and Jason (still unaware of Lex’s plan). 100

An earthquake rocks Metropolis as the new continent rises (all is lost! except Superman still has no idea what’s going on). Superman returns to save people in Metropolis (which is a turn, but kind of a turn in the wrong direction). 105

Act 3, but is it?

Flying the Daily Planet seaplane, Richard almost rescues Lois and Jason. Superman rescues them all. 110

Richard flies the seaplane. Superman confronts Lex but the Kryptonite makes him powerless. 115

Lex beats Superman and throws him into into the sea. Lois and Richard rescue him. 120

Richard just manages to take off in the choppy seas. Superman recovers. He flies to space to recharge from the sun. 125

Lex flees as Superman flies the landmass into space (resolving the central conflict he just learned about; Kitty has heroically dumped the crystals Lex stole), but it makes him powerless again. 130

Superman falls to earth and is hospitalized. A shard of Kryptonite is surgically removed. 135

Lois visits the unconscious(?) Clark and confesses Jason is his (which only vaguely resolves the sub-plot’s conflict, since the real conflict is that Superman and Lois still love each other and have a child together but Lois is in a long-term, loving relationship with Richard). Lex and Kitty are stranded on an island without helicopter fuel. 140

Epilog

Later, Superman visits Jason and assures Lois he is “always around” (which is, again, Supercreepy as well as demonstrably untrue). 145

Gaming

Carousing Rules for Dungeons & Dragons

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I was recently inspired to create table-top role-playing game rules for carousing between adventures, which adds fun and realism for heroes returning from an adventure laden with treasure. The reward is luck, which allows you to reroll almost any die roll.

The basic mechanic is simplified from the Medieval dice game “hazard”, which evolved into craps. The player characters go out carousing, and take turns.

The current carouser rolls 2d6.

  • On a 7, everybody gains a point of luck.
  • On a 2 or 12, everybody loses a point of luck.
  • On anything else, only the current carouser gains a point of luck and establishes a “hazard”. However, this luck remains at risk…

Once the current carouser has established at least one hazard, he or she can choose to end their night on a roll of 7, 2, or 12 and pass the dice. Otherwise, the current carouser keeps rolling.

When losing a point of luck from 2 or 12, the current carouser can choose to lose one of his or her hazard points, which clears that hazard.

After each of these rolls, the current carouser rolls on the Carousing Event table.

If the current carouser rolls one their their hazards, they lose all their luck from the hazards (not from 7s) and pass the dice. You may want to write down the hazard numbers and cover them with a point token as they get established.

hazard

Once everyone has had a turn, everyone who hit one of their hazards rolls on the End of a Wild Night table to see how they wake up in the morning.

Here is a link to the full document on Google Docs with the tables.

Sample carousing events:

You injure yourself trying to show off your strength or dexterity, whichever is higher.

You find a vial that got mislaid in a dark niche and, fairly tipsy, drink it. It’s a spoiled potion. Roll on the Minor Wild Magic Effects table.

You make a gaffe that gets you mocked for your… (1d8: 1=singing; 2=dancing; 3=clothes; 4=looks; 5=wit; 6=adventure stories; 7-8=drunken clumsiness). (+2 for any entertainment skill)

A little drinking, a little music, some good stories…. It’s a fine time! You get into a fascinating conversation about… (1d6: 1=hide tanning; 2=beekeeping; 3=shoemaking; 4=weaving; 5=wheel-making, 6=brewing).

You accidentally get locked in the privy and fall asleep until someone bangs on it. It is a… (2d6: 2=female halfling; 3=male halfling; 4-5=female human; 6=male human; 7=male dwarf; 8=female dwarf; 9-10=female elf; 11-12=male elf)

Good music, good drinks, dancing, good stories, a little romance…. You meet someone who gives you a solid lead on a job or adventure… (1d6: 1=a foreign envoy; 2=a foreign merchant; 3=a merchant; 4=a local official; 5=a royal official; 6=a minor noble passing thru) (Name that NPC and give them a background.)

Sample wild end of the night results:

You wake up with a hangover in jail for creating disorder. Pay 10 gp for bail or spend 1d4 days behind bars. You have no money on you. The constable is… (1d6: 1=hostile; 2-3=irritated; 4-5=amused; 6=surprisingly friendly).

Things got crazy, with lots of drinking and dares. You wake up with a hangover behind a dye shop with both arms… (1d6: 1=red; 2=yellow; 3=green; 4=blue; 5=orange; 6=royal purple).

Things got a bit crazy, with lots of music and drinking. You wake up with a hangover under a canvas tarpaulin in a wagon on its way thru the gate out of the city. You share the wagon with… (1d6: 1=clean straw; 2-3=animal carcasses; 4-5=pigs; 6=horse manure).

You had a bit of a crazy night, most of which is a blur, but there was drinking and dancing, great stories, romance of some sort….You wake up on the floor next to your bed with a hangover. Tucked into your bed is… (1d6: 1=your muddy boots; 2=a piglet; 3=a portrait of a distinguished noble; 4=a raccoon; 5=a jug of wine; 6=a dress stuffed with straw with a melon for a head to “throw off the assassins”).

Note that it references the Minor Wild Magic Effects table, which is something else I created. But many people have created minor wild magic effects tables. I’ll probably publish mine along with my rules for creating magic items and new spells (and Major Wild Magic Effects) in the near future.

Entertainment

Blade Runner – The Final Cut breakdown

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In a dystopian future, Deckard is a retired cop who finds and terminates runaway replicants, the android workers built to do work humans don’t want to do. He’s called back for one last quadruple execution.

Many years ago, I did a commentary for this movie.

I’m breaking down movies by their three-act structure. What is three-act structure? I explain it here.

Note: I break the story down into five-minute blocks to make it easier to see the length of each section. Rough time codes follow.

Prolog

Narration: Tyrell replicants need to be terminated. 5

Act 1

Leon shoots the replicant test’s examiner (introducing the central conflict). Deckard is “arrested” by Gaff. 10

Deckard is forced by Bryant to take the job to hunt Nexus 6 replicants Leon, Roy, Pris, and Zhora (introducing the rest of the villains). 15

Deckard tests Tyrell’s assistant, Rachael. 20

Rachael is a Nexus 6 with implanted memories. Deckard searches Leon’s apartment and finds photos and an animal scale. 25

Roy and Leon force Chew to tell them JF Sebastian has the information they want. 30

Act 2

Rachel tries to prove she’s human. Deckard proves she’s not. 35

Pris cons JF Sebastian into taking her in. 40

Deckard analyzes Leon’s photos and sees Zhora. 45

Deckard tracks the animal scale to a club but learns little. 50

Deckard finds Zhora in the club and gets attacked. 55

Deckard chases and kills Zhora. 60

Midpoint Crisis

Deckard is told he must also terminate Rachael because she has run away. (Zhora’s awful death and the prospect of killing Rachael the same way is a crisis of conscience for Deckard.) 65

Leon tries to kill Deckard. Rachael kills Leon. 70

Deckard promises not to hunt Rachael. 75

Deckard and Rachael fall for each other. 80

Roy and Pris confront Tyrell and find there is no way to extend their lives. 85

Roy kills Tyrell. Deckard goes to Sebastian’s apartment. 90

Deckard fights Pris. Her death throes horrify him. (Every success is a failure for Deckard. He is horrified by who he has become. This and Roy’s heartbreak over Pris are his emotional bottom.) 95

Act 3

Malfunctioning, Roy hunts Deckard in Sebastian’s building. 100

Roy chases Deckard onto the roof in the rain. 105

Roy saves Deckard from falling and talks about dying. He shuts down. 110

Deckard retrieves Rachael so they can flee together. 115

Entertainment

Total Recall (1990) breakdown

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A construction worker dreams of a strange woman and discovers secrets in his own mind about possibly being a spy on Mars, where he finds the woman is a rebel fighting a man who may have been his old boss.

Many years ago, I did a commentary for this movie.

I’m breaking down movies by their three-act structure. What is three-act structure? I explain it here.

Note: I break the story down into five-minute blocks to make it easier to see the length of each section. Rough time codes follow.

Prolog

Doug Quaid dreams of Melina on Mars. Lori consoles him. 5

Act 1

Quaid sees terrorism reports and talks about Mars (introducing the central conflict and the villain), goes to work 10

Quaid talks about Rekall with Harry. Quaid goes to Rekall. 15

Quaid picks secret agent fantasy. His memory cap gets popped. He is sedated. 20

Quaid awakens in cab, gets snatched by Harry and pals, kills them. Quaid finds Lori at home. 25

Act 2

Lori tries to kill him, confesses to living a fake life. He escapes, chased by Richter and pals. 30

Quaid escapes Richter and pals, gets on train. Richter talks to Cohaagen. Quaid gets a call and case from an old pal. 35

Quaid gets the case, escapes in cab when spotted. Video self says his life isn’t real. 40

Quaid extracts a bug. “Get your ass to Mars.” He escapes as Richter catches up. Quaid travels to Mars in disguise. 45

Quaid blows bomb when IDed, escapes on train, hears complaints. Cohaagen dresses down Richter. 50

Quaid goes to the Hilton, gets case with clue to find Melina. Terrorists attack as he gets in Benny’s cab. 55

Midpoint Crisis

Quaid finds Melina in mutant bar. She dresses him down. Benny takes him back to hotel. 60

Rekall doc shows up, tries to convince him to stop. He kills the doc but is knocked out by Lori’s thugs. 65

Melina attacks thugs, fights Lori. Quaid kills Lori. He and Melina escape Richter in Benny’s cab. 70

They go to mutant bar and slip into hiding. Richter shoots up the place. Cohaagen turns off the air. 75

Melina takes Quaid thru alien crypt. They have a romantic moment. Kuato’s men find them. Benny reveals he is a mutant. They go to the mutant Kuato. 80

Kuato psychically extracts knowledge of alien reactor. Richter’s men attack. Benny betrays, captures Quaid and Melina. Kuato is killed. (All seems lost!) 85

Act 3

Cohaagen taunts Quaid, prepares to brainwash him. 90

Quaid escapes brainwash machine, kills techs. They escape. Without air, the mutants are dying. Benny attacks Quaid, dies. 95

Quaid and Melina find the reactor. Richter catches up. Quaid tricks and kills them. 100

Cohaagen catches Quaid at the reactor switch. Melina shoots him. They activate the reactor but are swept outside. 105

Mars floods with oxygen, saving Quaid, Melina, and mutants (resolving the central conflict). 110

Entertainment

Flash Gordon (1980) breakdown

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American football player Flash Gordon and travel agent Dale Arden are captured by Ming the Merciless, who decides to marry Dale. Flash escapes, gets captured again numerous times, makes friends, and crashes the wedding.

Many years ago, I did a commentary for this movie.

I’m breaking down movies by their three-act structure. What is three-act structure? I explain it here.

Note: I break the story down into five-minute blocks to make it easier to see the length of each section. Rough time codes follow.

Act 1

Ming attacks Earth. Flash and Dale board a small airplane. 5

Flash and Dale’s plane suffer turbulence from Ming’s attack. 10

Flash and Dale crash. Zarkov gets them to help launch his rocket to stop Ming from destroying Earth (introducing the conflict). 15

Zarkov, Flash, and Dale are captured by Ming. 20

Ming holds an audience for tribute featuring Aura, Vultan, Barin, and others. 25

The heroes meet Ming. He tries to take Dale (introducing a second conflict). Flash fights the guards but loses. 30

Act 2

Flash’s execution is prepared. Flash and Dale confess their attraction. 35

Flash is “executed” but later revived, thanks to Aura. 40

Zarkov is brainwashed into being an agent of Ming. Flash and Aura fly to Arboria. 45

Dale is readied for Ming but tricks a servant into trading places. 50

Flash and Aura reach Arboria. Zarkov is sent to recapture Dale. Klytus is given carte blanche. 55

Midpoint Crisis

(There’s a lot going on in a few minutes, and it all serves to feel like a crisis, but Flash being betrayed and captured by Barin is probably the main plot point.)

Flash meets Barin and is taken captive. Zarkov, who was faking, escapes with Dale. Aura is captured and tortured by Klytus. 60

Barin decides to use Flash. Aura is promised to Klytus. Dale and Zarkov are captured by hawkmen. 65

Flash fakes the Arborian rite of passage. Barin saves him from quicksand but they are captured by hawkmen. 70

Barin and Flash are brought to Vultan. Barin demands trial by combat against Flash. Zarkov tells Dale the Earth will be destroyed in 14 hours (introducing a ticking clock). 75

Flash fights but saves Barin; they ally and kill Klytus when he arrives. Vultan flees before Ming arrives. 80

Ming captures the heroes and offers Flash rulership of a ruined Earth while he marries Dale (reinforcing the dual conflict)….

Act 3

Flash escapes and allies with Vultan. 85

Dale is readied to marry Ming. Flash acts as a decoy. War Rocket Ajax is dispatched. 90

The hawkmen attack Ajax. Ming prepares to kill Zarkov and Barin and marry Dale. 95

Aura escapes and frees Barin and Zarkov. Flash crashes Ajax into the palace. 100

Barin and Zarkov stop the weapons. Flash crashes the wedding and impales Ming (resolving the secondary conflict). Earth is saved (resolving the central conflict). 105

Barin heralds a new era. 110

Epilog

Ming laughs and retrieves his ring.

Entertainment

Star Wars 4: A New Hope breakdown

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A desert farm boy, an old hermit, and two space pilots get entangled in a princess’s rebellion against a galactic empire.

Many years ago, I did a commentary for this movie, both the theatrical version and the special edition.

I’m breaking down movies by their three-act structure. What is three-act structure? I explain it here.

Note: I break the story down into five-minute blocks to make it easier to see the length of each section. Rough time codes follow.

Prolog

Legend: It is a period of civil war. 2

Act 1

Darth Vader boards Princess Leia’s ship (introducing the villain). 5

Leia hides the Death Star plans in R2-D2. R2 and 3-P0 flee in an escape pod. 10

R2 and 3-P0 are captured separately by Jawas. 15

R2 and 3-P0 are sold to the Skywalkers. 20

Luke activates Leia’s message to Obi-Wan Kenobi in R2 (introducing the central conflict). 25

Luke pursues the missing R2 and is rescued from Sand People by Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi. 30

Act 2

Ben explains Luke’s father was a Force-using Jedi knight killed by Darth Vader. 35

R2 shows Ben the message from Leia. 40

Luke finds his aunt and uncle murdered. Luke and Ben go to Mos Eisley. 45

Ben and Luke make a deal with Han Solo and Chewbacca to take them to the Alderaan. 50

Han kills bounty hunter Greedo. Ben and Luke board Han’s ship. 55

The heroes flee Mos Eisley….

Midpoint Crisis

…The Death Star destroys Alderaan. 60

Ben teaches Luke about the Force. The heroes discover Alderaan is destroyed and get captured. 65

The heroes hide and sneak out of their ship in stormtrooper uniforms. 70
Luke and Han take Chewbacca to the detention unit so they can rescue Leia. 75

Han, Luke, & Chewie rescue Leia and end up in a trash compactor. 80

R2 and 3-P0 rescue the heroes from the trash compactor. 85

Ben shuts down the tractor beam. The heroes race to the ship under fire. 90

Vader finds and kills Ben. (All is lost!) The heroes escape in Han’s ship. 95

Act 3

The heroes go to the rebel base. The rebels prepare for battle. They must hit a small port in the central trench of the Death Star. 100

Han leaves with his payment. Luke meets old friends and preps for battle in a fighter. 105

The rebels attack and fare poorly against the Death Star’s defenses. 110

Vader enters the fight personally. Luke goes in for his run using the Force to do his targeting. 115

Han and Chewie return to keep Vader off Luke. Luke destroys the Death Star… (resolving the central conflict)

…Han and Luke are awarded medals by Princess Leia. 120

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