Hiatus

I’m going to go on hiatus for a couple of months. Some life changes (possibly menopause) are sapping my time and attention. I hope to get back to doing commentaries in January, but until then I need to focus on real life.

I appreciate the feedback I’ve gotten recently. It’s all been really positive. I know the site continues to present issues with downloads sometimes, which baffles me despite my best preventative measures.

Welcome, Iron Man fans, I guess (or bots?)

According to the PodPress statistics, my commentary with the Doctor from Speakeasy for Iron Man has been downloaded more than 33,000 times. That’s about 15x more than my next most popular commentary, The Phantom Menace (which is actually a remix of Red Letter Media’s work, so it isn’t really even mine).

Maybe a celebrity tweeted about it or a DJ talked about it on the radio or something. I don’t know. Maybe it’s one obsessive nerd just really into it. Or maybe it’s software bots gone crazy. It only has one comment, so maybe it’s bots?

Regardless, welcome, whoever you are. I guess.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians of the GalaxyIMDb
Martin is back! (He has a codename: Faldor. Both of us do. It’s cool. It’s not weird.) We bust out of space prison and give Guardians of the Galaxy a good going over (which mainly consists of saying that it’s fun and cool and the plot is kind of unnecessary). It’s the heartwarming story of a boy who gets kidnapped and leads a life of crime and sexual depravity, with few friends and many enemies.

The film has too many villains and too many endings and some shaky acting but works anyway because of its excess of charm. We praise Marvel, Chris Pratt, Bradley Cooper, Karen Gillen, the soundtrack, and—surprisingly—James Gunn.

We guess at what the soundtrack of the sequel will include. We compare it to The Avengers, Star Wars, Moonraker, Up, Reservoir Dogsand—spoilers—The Cabin in the Woods. For some reason, we discuss every Star Trek show and come to the conclusion that this is different. Also Firefly, because duh. We get into a fight over The Lost Boys, The Goonies, and—spoilers—The Cabin in the Woods.

We’re watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown at 0:00:00.

The Omen (1976)

OmenIMDb
Join Jimmy and me to have a lot of fun with the original The Omen. We compare it to the other films in the series, the remake, Jaws, and other Richard Donner films (hey, would Damien make a good Goonie? There’s a question we didn’t ask).

We praise the acting, wonder what God is up to these days, praise baboons for keeping us Antichrist-free for 2000 years, and eventually recast the film with Muppets.

We’re watching HD versions and stay in sync. Start after the logo, on the countdown.

Tremors

TremorsIMDb
John Pavlich is back for another horror-comedy romp, this time with Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward vs sand worms. We revel in the B-movie cheesiness that works better than most A movies. We compare it to the sequels, Jaws, Maximum Overdrive, and other slasher and siege films.

We speculate on the biology of the creatures and their closest living relatives. We analyze set-up and payoff. We mark the points of Val’s character arcs (two of them!).

We’re watching the Blu-ray version. Start the film after the Orion logo on the countdown.

The Running Man

Running ManIMDb
Join me as I am joined by Jim Brown (the regular one, not the one from the movie) as we pursue Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Conchita Alonso thru the quads in this 1980s heartwarming tale of 2010s’ excess and televised mayhem. We compare it to other Arnie movies, The Hunger Games, Battle Royale, and modern reality TV. I praise Richard Dawson up and down. And we try to figure out why Dweezil Zappa is in this movie.

We talk about the fact that it was a troubled production, the 80s-ness of the wardrobe and whatnot, and the creepiness of the lady who might harbor rape fantasies. I think we fail to credit Stephen King as the novelist (under the Richard Bachman name). And Jimmy calls me on a Fleetwood Mac reference.

Bonus: find out which stalker I’m making a cos-play costume of!

NOTE: Skype throws us off our game a bit, I’m afraid. The connection breaks down 5 times, but I double-checked the sync. I’ve artfully covered the gaps with Fleetwood Mac music. Just bear with us.

We’re watching the Region 1 DVD, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown with the Taft Entertainment title card after the Tri-Star logo.

White House Down

White-House-Down
IMDb
Just in time for the US Independence Day celebration, join Faldor (Martin from The Extended Edition) and me for a tour of the president’s mansion in Washington, DC, with your tour guide, Roland Emmerich! We praise–and occasionally knock–the CGI. We compare it to Olympus Has Fallen, obviously, Die Hard, other Roland Emmerich films, and Step Up to the Streets (not really).

I talk a bit about the geography of the White House and the nature of the Secret Service. We discuss 10 Downing Street, Jamie Foxx, my other website WhiteHouseMuseum.org, how sprinkler systems work, and why the PEOC only has black-and-white TVs.

We’re watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown with the Columbia title card after the Columbia logo.

Running commentaries that you listen to while you watch the movie.