Commentary: Predator 2 (w/ Jimmy B!)

Predator 2IMDb
Join me and Jimmy B as we look deep into the untold horror and ultraviolence of Predator 2 and like it quite a bit. We discuss the film in context with the first film and the other Predator franchise films. We compare it to RoboCop, Lethal Weapon, Weekend At Bernie’s 2, and Toy F—ing Story 3. We indulge in a little social commentary prompted by the events on screen that perhaps strike a little close to home. And we generally have a good time trying to decide if Danny Glover is the right man to replace Arnold Schwarzenegger. (It goes without saying that Maria Conchita Alonso is the right man to replace Jesse Ventura.)

We fail to mention that someone thought Shane Black’s bad jokes were so fundamental to the success of the first film that Bill Paxton had to be brought in to provide more of them. And WHAT IS UP WITH THE CARS IN THIS MOVIE???

WARNING: This is explicit again, and this time we just give up and swear like sailors.

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start after the 20th Century Fox logo, on the countdown.

Commentary: PotC At World’s End (w/ Faldor!)

Pirates 3IMDb
Join Faldor (Martin from Extended Edition podcast) as he joins me again for another go at the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise! It’s the heartwarming tale of a band of plucky pirates, most of whom were dead at least once before, who rescue their friend from death and but can’t save certain other people for some reason. A bunch of other stuff happens that is hard to remember or explain, most of which is people betraying each other, and Keira Knightly has several costume changes, and Pintel and Ragetti seriously get on my nerves.

We examine the tone and motivations, try to figure out who the main character is, analyze the story as a long-form romance, and try to decide what to cut out. We discuss Johnny Depp’s portrayal and Keith Richards’ cameo. We wander off on a couple of tangents about Lord Nelson, the Patrick O’Brien novels, Treasure Island, and British television actors’ pay.

I’m watching the Region 1 DVD; Martin is watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown with the Jerry Bruckheimer logo.

Commentary: Pulp Fiction (with Sofa Dogs!)

Pulp FictionIMDb
Join me as I join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs to have a look at Quentin Tarantino’s finest masterpiece. We discuss the narrative structure, the characters, the themes and motifs, and the feet.

We compare the film to Tarantino’s other films, the films and books he pays homage to, and Robert Rodriguez’s films. We try to figure out which sequence is the weakest and why some scenes are even in the movie. I think I spot Teague Chrystie‘s apartment. And we copyright a Beverly Hills horror movie idea.

NOTE: This commentary is explicit. Altho we don’t get silly like Jimmy I did on Predator, John repeats some of the more offensive dialog, including the N-word.

We’re watching the DVD version. Start the film after the Miramax logo on the countdown.

Commentary: The Magnificent 7 (w/ Film Bin!)

Join me and the crew of Film Bin for one of the greatest westerns ever made. It’s a fun, funny, sometimes-poignant shoot-‘em-up from 1960 with an all-star cast (well, nearly), and a top-notch pedigree.

We compare the film to the sequels, The Seven Samurai, Ocean’s Eleven, The Three Amigos, A Bug’s Life, Westworld, Return of the Jedi, Home Alone, and Postman Pat. We recast it for no reason and also try to reset it in Britain. We poke it for flaws and find almost none. (Why give them back their guns, tho, seriously?) And we invent a couple of back stories and sequels (and copyright them!) involving werewolf hunting and hangovers.

We’re watching the Blu-ray and stay in perfect sync. Start the film with the MGM lion logo on the countdown.

Commentary: Predator (1987, w/ Jimmy B!)

PredatorNetflix IMDb
Join me and Jimmy B as we examine the genius that is Predator (1987) [there’s a remake coming]. We discuss each of the principle actors and their careers and political aspirations, who could have been in the film, and how awesome the film is. We both love it and marvel at its solid construction and timeless story of mercenaries being hunted in a jungle by a Rastafarian fish-man. We play around with recasting the film in a later era and discuss the sequels.

Technically, this is explicit again because of me, but not really.

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start after the 20th Century Fox logo, on the countdown.

Commentary: Where Eagles Dare

Where Eagles Dare IMDb
It’s the heartwarming story of a Welsh commando and his intrepid American sidekick, their girlfriends, and a great deal of dynamite cutting a swath of destruction across the German mountainside and a trail of dead bodies a couple of miles long. Richard Burton shuffles off his Shakespearean coil and dons an SS officer’s uniform to wax poetical about how much he loves Hitler or maybe not or maybe, it’s very confusing. I think at one point he is acting as a quadruple agent.

The plot is nevertheless watertight; the acting is terrific; the directing workmanlike; and the stunt work spectacular. It’s one of the greatest WW2 adventures committed to film and my teenage memory, keeps up a breakneck pace (sometimes literally), and it’s so long you can take a nap at a couple of points and not miss any of the ridiculously complicated plot.

I wax poetical about the guns, cars, and aircraft, explain who is who, determine if the film passes the Bechdel Test, and generally have a good time, altho I mix up the aerial tramway with an inclined railway and sing a bit of “Funiculi Funicula”, and I may have suggested that Alec Guinness starred in Hitchcok’s Secret Agent when it was in fact John Gielgud. I compare it to Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Inception, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, other WW2 movies, Hammer horror, James Bond, Top Secret, buddy cop movies, and The Thing.

Bonus: a scorecard, by which you might better know the players.

I’m watching and HD version off DVR. Start the film on the countdown between the MGM logo and before the mountains come up.

Commentary: Mission: Impossible 3

MI3Netflix IMDb
Join me as I delve into JJ Abrams’ take on the Mission: Impossible series and examine how he makes it his own (by kind of turning it into Alias). I can’t remember “the Welshman” from the second movie (“You know! Hannibal Lector!”), and I stumble between character names and actor names. I complain that it’s all a little too familiar (like first-movie familiar and sometimes James-Bond familiar), but I give credit where credit is due to Cruise, Abrams, the DP, and the rest of IMF.

I’m watching the Blu-ray. Start the film after the Paramount logo on the countdown.

Commentary: Evil Dead (2013, with Sofa Dogs!)

evil_dead-posterNetflix IMDb
Join me as I join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs once again, this time for a look at Fede Alvarez’s remake of Sam Raimi’s silly-fun 1981 horror flick The Evil Dead. This one is serious, flatter, and way better made (altho I still prefer the original). Thrill to the blood and mud! Squeal at the shout-outs to the original! Listen as I fail to fully interpret the the film makers’ intent! (In my defense, it’s not on screen.)

I’m watching an HD version from DVR. Start the film after the Film District logo and before the Haunted House logo on the countdown.

Commentary: National Treasure

National-TreasureNetflix IMDb
Join me for a stroll thru the hallowed halls of American history and pseudo-history with Nicolas Cage and friends. I compare the film to its sequel, Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Goonies, CSI, and the 1960s Batman TV show. I enjoy the real/realistic history, blame the Gates family for the loss of the treasure in the first place, and rewrite the film to be about something else.

I’m watching the Blu-ray. Start the film on the countdown between the production company logos and before the attic scene.

Michael “Dorkman” Scott

1655991_615864078532678_4424568584175976464_n[1]As you may already know if you frequent or, Mike Scott was in a very serious accident in which he was hit by a car while walking on the sidewalk. In the past week, he’s undergone multiple surgeries for brain, leg, and pelvis injuries and remains under heavy sedation. But the prognosis is looking up, and he is likely to be allowed to regain consciousness soon.

Mike and I and John Pavlich did a commentary for Dark City a few months ago, and I had the privilege of meeting him and talking about Harry Potter during the 24-hour commentary marathon. He is a great guy, very funny, and very very smart, and I wish him a joyful reunion with his friends and family and a short convalescence.

If you’re interested in his progress, you can keep an eye on the Facebook support page. If you’d like to contribute to his inevitably expensive recovery, visit the GoFundMe page.

Running commentaries that you listen to while you watch the movie.