Dracula

DraculaNetflix IMDb
Just in time for Halloween! A campy lawyer becomes a bug-eating lunatic in thrall to the king of all vampires: Count Dracula, as personified by Bela Lugosi. I compare the film to the Bram Stoker novel, to the stage play, and to other Dracula movies. I point out how the film set the standard for vampires from the incredible opening featuring the brides of Dracula (and the possums of Dracula) to the thrilling discussion-on-a-divan scenes to the pulse-racing discussion-on-a-staircase scenes to the chilling look-over-there-while-I-stab-Dracula ending. I mix up Joan Standing (the English nurse) and Moon Carroll (the American maid). Maybe there are no fangs and no blood (or score); maybe the actors all stand motionless to deliver their lines, maybe everything interesting happens off-screen, but this is the granddaddy of ’em all and well worth a look.

Bonus: The entire book! Searchable and skimmable!

Start the film with the original studio title (not the new Universal logo, if there is one) at the same time you start the commentary. (36 MB)

The Goonies

The GooniesNetflix IMDb
Sean Astin leads his hearty band of adventurers—plus his older brother.. and a couple of girls—thru the caverns underneath the rocky coast near his home town in a search for the legendary lost treasure of One-Eyed Willy! I examine the three-part story structure, the emotional arc of each character, and Willy’s weird music/skeleton obsession. I admire Mikey’s leadership, Troy’s Mustang GT, and Andy’s panties.

I contemplate the nature of the “Goondocks.” I point out the age of the various kids (surprise! Josh is younger than Kerry!). I examine the structure of the two-parent Walsh family and single-parent TV families. I wonder about the distance from the lighthouse to the country club. And I wonder about how Data apparently walked in from a Warner Brothers cartoon and how a Chinese character with a Japanese love for technology could be played by a Vietnamese actor.

I misstate that Martin Sheen played John F Kennedy in an episode of Spielberg’s Amazing Stories when it was actually the TV movie Kennedy. I was actually mixing it up with an episode of The Twilight Zone called “Profile in Silver”.

Start the film with the studio title at the same time you start the commentary. (52 MB)

Alien

AlienNetflix IMDb
Ridley Scott starts the Alien franchise rolling with Alien, the story of a humble xenomorph born into a hostile world full of potential hosts that he must struggle to maim and prepare for embryo impregnation. But there is a spunky gal in a space panties that has it out for him!

Join me as I dissect this alien. I discuss the structure and pulp origins of the film, the similarities between Ridley Scott and Stanley Kubrick, and the mysterious connections between Gunsmoke and American science fiction. I compare the film to WW2 submarine movies, Star Wars, Mission Impossible (for which I drop a spoiler), and teenage slasher films. I suggest that Veronica Cartwright’s career might have been derailed by snot. I complain about Star Trek: First Contact. I say that Dallas portrays alien characteristics when I mean hero characteristics. I say that we’re “still in the third act” when I mean the second act.

Start the film before the 20th Century Fox title at the same time you start the commentary. (54 MB)

Goldfinger

GoldfingerNetflix IMDb
Bond is back again in probably the most popular—and certainly most influential—James Bond film. He’s asked to check out Auric Goldfinger in this one, and uncovers a dastardly plot to steal—wait for it—gold! I discuss the gold-painted girl, the Aston Martin DB5, the idea of substituting golf for baccarat, the plausibility of putting a Lincoln Continental in a Ranchero, the plausibility of machismo overcoming lesbianism, the US Army’s sense of humor, and, of course, Pussy Galore.

Start the film before the Universal title at the same time you start the commentary.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Raiders of the Lost ArkNetflix IMDb
Harrison Ford breathes life into another icon when he picks up the whip and fedora offered by George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kasdan. I talk about the film’s origins and episodic nature, call it “nearly perfect,” and point out its various imperfections. I ponder the nature of the triple villain and the character arc that Indy travels. I compare it to romantic comedies and serials of the 1930s and ’40s, and to the other Indiana Jones films. I say 1935 a couple of times when I mean 1936. I say Martin Scorsese directed Tucker when I mean Francis Ford Coppola. And I squeeze in a reference to Yakima Canutt.

I watched the US release on DVD from the boxed set. The commentary should work with any other version unless Lucas does something stupid with the Blu-Ray release (like replacing Marion’s final ‘drink’ dialog with: “By the way, Indy, what do you think of the name ‘Mutt’?”).

Start the commentary just before the Paramount logo fades in.

Seinfeld 08×08 “The Chicken Roaster”

SeinfeldNetflix IMDb
A Kenny Rogers’ Roasters restaurant moves in across the street and beams red light into Kramer’s apartment day and night, so he gets Jerry to switch apartments. Elaine buys George a sable hat on the Peterman account along with a load of other things for herself, then gets audited by their accountant. I take apart this classic eighth season episode scene by scene, praising all its loopy goodness and gently pointing out its mild gaps.

Start the commentary when I tell you to press Play.

Hot Fuzz

Netflix IMDb
Simon Pegg knocks one out of the… cricket pitch(?) as super cop Nicolas Angle Angel, who gets reassigned to sleepy little Sanford and discovers that there is an evil there that does not sleep. Nick Frost pulls duty as his comic sidekick and film professor. And a host of fantastic British actors support Pegg and director Edgar Wright’s brilliant and hilarious screenplay. I focus on the failures in it, of course. But I do heap praise where praise heaps are due. I focus mostly on the themes and intricacies of the plot. I compare it to other films in various genres, including Cars, Doc Hollywood, Sharky’s Machine, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Shaun of the Dead, Point Break, Bad Boys II, romantic comedies, and spaghetti westerns. But I’m nothing compared to Wright and Tarantino. Check out my voluminous list of films that Edgar Wright and Quentin Tarantino talk about in their own weird meta-commentary.

I watched the 3-disk US special edition release. It should be the same as the standard DVD release.

Start the commentary with the whistles and sirens. (55 MB)

Cars

CarsNetflix IMDb

Owen Wilson is the voice of Lightning McQueen, the superfast city boy race car who is on his way to California to win the Piston Cup, if only he can ever get out of little old Radiator Springs. Paul Newman is wise old Doc Hudson and Larry the Cable Guy is dumb old Larry the Cable Truck, or should have been. Bonnie Hunt is way sexier than an automobile has a right to be, which causes me to ponder car anatomy. I complain about the title of the film. I explain the concept of setup and payoff. And I explore the difference between American-style animation and Japanese-style animation. But I focus primarily on the two main stories that conflict and the two sub-plots that complicate things further and how the film manages to keep them all from tearing the film apart.

This is the US Blu-Ray release. It should be essentially the same as the standard DVD release, but foreign releases may be slightly diferent, since Pixar replaced some voices and names for local color and may have made other changes.

Start the commentary with the Walt Disney Pictures logo. (51 MB)

Vanishing Point

Vanishing PointNetflix IMDb
Barry Newman is the mysterious man in the white Dodge Challenger, running away from the cops and his own screwed up life. I discuss the movie as a meditation on motivation, an allegory for the lost soul, and as a Caterpiller promotional film. I compare it (somewhat) with the 1997 version and with Smokey and the Bandit and American Westerns, but mostly with ancient mythology. I boldly suggest that beautiful women can represent both innocence and death, depending on whether they are nude or wearing a cloak and that “J. Hovah” is a little too on-the-nose for a character name. And I use my new CO3U microphone with very good results.

This is the UK version on the R1 US (NTSC) release (it’s on the back of the DVD with the US version). It includes a scene with Charlotte Rampling as a mysterious hitchhiker that was not in the US version.

Start the commentary with the start of the vintage 20th Century Fox logo. (51 MB)

From Russia With Love

From Russia With LoveNetflix IMDb
Bond is back in one of the best but not best-remembered Bond flicks. Here, he is the subject of a direct attempt to kill him by involving him in a trap that SPECTRE knows he’ll fall for precisely because he knows it’s a trap. The lovely but naive Tatiana Romanova is their patsy and Red Grant their oiled-up angel of death. Along the way, a Gypsy catfight goes on too long, Bond keeps forgetting why he’s in Istanbul and why he stole the Lector device. Tatiana redeems herself in the third ending, and I wonder how Bond is going to explain her to his girlfriend. I don’t have the book to do extensive comparisons, but I do identify most of the cars, not that Bond drives them; he only drives a Chevy pickup.

Start the film with the roaring lion at the same time you start the commentary. (54 MB)

Running commentaries that you listen to while you watch the movie.