Tag Archives: commentaries

Mad Max 4: Fury Road

IMDbMad Max: Fury Road

SMEAR YOUR FOREHEAD WITH GREASE! SPRAY YOUR FACE WITH CHROME! DRINK GUZZLEINE IN VALHALLA WITH DONALD TRUMP’S GRANDSON IMMORTAN JOE TRUMP! IT’S MAD MAX: FURY ROAD! WITH JIMMY B! AND ENGINE NOISES! AND ELECTRIC GUITAR! AND a Skype dropout at 1:17:05 but we fix it and everything and HEAD BACK TO GET US SOME WATER!

Spectre

SpectreIMDb

Join me as I take on the worst terrorist organization in history, SPECTRE. I compare the film to other Daniel Craig Bonds, other Bonds of other sorts, other action movies, Inglourious Basterds, Jaws, and corporate projects I’ve worked on. I accuse it of being a really expensive fan film. And I mis-remember which Blofeld had the scar (Donald Pleasence, not Telly Savalas).

I praise the acting and the set pieces and the gun butler; I complain about the office and hotel scenes where nothing happens and the action scenes where stuff does happen; and I do the world’s best imitation of Christoph Waltz. I fail to recognize clinic barman Victor Schefé, star of Bewegte Männer. I obsess over the secret room in the Hotel L’Americain and make up a whole back story about it. I put forth a seven point argument for Hinx being based on Jaws and not Red Grant (take that, Wikipedia!). I disbelieve Blofeld’s whole operation. I apologize to international assassins (again). And I try to figure out how many helicopters Bond has stashed in his garage.

Bonus: Listen to the end for my pick for the next Bond!

I’m watching the Blu-ray. Start right after the MGM logo, before the Columbia logo, on the countdown.

Now on Youtube: Spectre fan commentary – Tysto Commentaries

Star Wars 7: The Force Awakens

Star Wars the Force AwakensIMDb

After a long absence, and now much older and wiser, Drew returns to set us straight about Star Wars. And I wreck things and generally act childish.

We lament the familiarity of the plot and some character choices. We debate weather Daisy Ridley is actually Keira Knightly (me: yes; Drew: probably not), and whether the stormtroopers are “thick” and/or “phat”.

We volley back and forth with our deep, deep knowledge of the Star Wars Extended Universe, most of which is made up. We ponder the reason why Kylo Ren is there, why Finn instantly goes from Conscientious Objector to Hollywood Hero, how maps work, who is making robots that feel bad, and why any of this happens.

Bonus: I clear my throat 11,000 times!

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start right after the logo on the countdown.

Also on YouTube!

Super 8

Super 8IMDb
John Pavlich and I open up J J Abrams’ mystery box and like what we see, if only because it reminds us so much of all the films we loved from our childhood. We heap praise all over the place, repeated forgive it its sins and excesses, and try to nitpick anachronisms.

We compare it to other J J Abrams films, Steven Spielberg films, The Explorers, The Goonies, Aliens, and Alf.

Bonus: we manage to keep it clean.

We’re watching the Blu-ray. Start right after the Paramount logo on the countdown.

Mission: Impossible: Rogue: Nation

MI5IMDb
Join me in watching the fifth and by no means final episode in the Ethan Hunt saga, in which IMF—gasp!—gets shut down and Ethan—gulp!—goes rogue. Insiders turn out to be bad guys! Ethan works with a beautiful mystery woman he isn’t sure he can trust! They steal something they don’t understand and give it to the villain! I know this sounds like every other Mission Impossible film! But this one is even better than most of the others!

I compare it to the other films, to James Bond (again [too much {again}]), to the TV show, to Hitchcock, to Faust, to Foul Play, and to Phantom Menace. I tiptoe around Cruise’s real life, explain the geography of Europe and the design of my swimming pool, fail to remember Timothy Dalton’s name, do an impression of Luther that is half Ving Rhames and half Tracy Morgan, point out a couple of substantial logic gaps, and complain endlessly about how much I like the film.

I’m watching the Blu-ray. Start right after the Paramount logo on the countdown.

Ant-Man

Ant-ManIMDb
Jimmy and I take a rambling look at Marvel’s Ant-Man (after a brief bit of confusion over which movie we’re watching) and express our (reserved) love for it. We praise the look and art design, the actors, and the writing. And we discuss which aspects of the writing and directing don’t work as well.

We’re watching HD versions and stay in sync. Start at 0:00:00 on the countdown.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians of the GalaxyIMDb
Martin is back! (He has a codename: Faldor. Both of us do. It’s cool. It’s not weird.) We bust out of space prison and give Guardians of the Galaxy a good going over (which mainly consists of saying that it’s fun and cool and the plot is kind of unnecessary). It’s the heartwarming story of a boy who gets kidnapped and leads a life of crime and sexual depravity, with few friends and many enemies.

The film has too many villains and too many endings and some shaky acting but works anyway because of its excess of charm. We praise Marvel, Chris Pratt, Bradley Cooper, Karen Gillen, the soundtrack, and—surprisingly—James Gunn.

We guess at what the soundtrack of the sequel will include. We compare it to The Avengers, Star Wars, Moonraker, Up, Reservoir Dogsand—spoilers—The Cabin in the Woods. For some reason, we discuss every Star Trek show and come to the conclusion that this is different. Also Firefly, because duh. We get into a fight over The Lost Boys, The Goonies, and—spoilers—The Cabin in the Woods.

We’re watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown at 0:00:00.