http://www.tysto.com change your mind. Fri, 30 Jul 2010 02:10:13 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Copyright © t y s t o 2010 webmaster@tysto.com (Tysto.com) webmaster@tysto.com (Tysto.com) TV & Film 1440 http://www.tysto.com/images/tysto-commentaries144.gif http://www.tysto.com 144 144 http://www.tysto.com/tag/commentaries/feed/ Tysto commentaries are full-length audio commentaries that you listen to while you watch the movie. movies, commentary, dvd, blu-ray Tysto.com Tysto.com webmaster@tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/07/commentary-on-her-majestys-secret-service/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/07/commentary-on-her-majestys-secret-service/#comments Thu, 29 Jul 2010 00:11:29 +0000 Andrew Cole http://781304348 Bond is back again and Lazenby plays him. Join me as I investigate the one and only appearance of George Lazenby in the role and try to figure out what the hell is going on. I mock the nonsensical missions-that-aren't-missions, gadgets-that-aren't-gadgets, and Blofeld's plan-that-isn't-a-plan that amounts to hypno-zombie debutantes with poison spray bottles. I analyze Blofeld's weird philanthropic tendencies, Tracy's unexplained suicidal tendencies, and her father's henchmen's random homicidal tendencies. And I analyze Bond's cozy relationship with the self-confessed second-biggest crime lord in Europe. I obsessively identify the various cars. I try to imagine a less likely man to pretend to be a homosexual in a skirt and frilly blouse. I try to identify the moment Bond genuinely falls in love. And I try to identify the moment Bond realizes that his sex addiction has allowed a known international terror-extortionist to successfully launch his plan.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/07/commentary-on-her-majestys-secret-service/feed/ 0 2:28:20 Netflix — IMDb Bond is back again and Connery Lazenby plays him. Join me as I investigate the one and only appearance of George Lazenby in ... Netflix — IMDb Bond is back again and Connery Lazenby plays him. Join me as I investigate the one and only appearance of George Lazenby in the role and try to figure out what the hell is going on. I mock the nonsensical missions-that-aren't-missions, gadgets-that-aren't-gadgets, and Blofeld's plan-that-isn't-a-plan that amounts to hypno-zombie debutantes with poison spray bottles. I analyze Blofeld's weird philanthropic tendencies, Tracy's unexplained suicidal tendencies, and her father's henchmen's random homicidal tendencies. And I analyze Bond's cozy relationship with the self-confessed second-biggest crime lord in Europe. I obsessively identify the various cars. I try to imagine a less likely man to pretend to be a homosexual in a skirt and frilly blouse. I try to identify the moment Bond genuinely falls in love. And I try to identify the moment Bond realizes that his sex addiction has allowed a known international terror-extortionist to successfully launch his plan. Start the commentary with the gun barrel sequence, on the countdown. Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/06/commentary-you-only-live-twice/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/06/commentary-you-only-live-twice/#comments Tue, 08 Jun 2010 18:34:12 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2010/06/commentary-you-only-live-twice/ Bond is back again and Connery plays him, this time as a humble Japanese fisherman with a "yen" for smoked salmon. (Get it!?) Ah, but the mysterious Osato Corporation has it out for him and will surely do him in if they ever get their miserable act together and if they aren't foiled by a girl. I examine the overall plan of Spectre, the specifics of that plan, the lack of a plan by Bond, and the awesomeness of ninjas and secret volcano lairs. I mock the color-coded uniforms of Blofeld's men, the awkwardness of the gadgets in Aki's sweet Toyota 2000 sports car, the incredible convenience of certain plot twists, and the absurd unlikelihood of building a rocket base in a hollowed-out volcano with no one noticing. The film mocks me by serving up ninjas attacking a rocket base in a hollowed out volcano with no #@*&$ CGI. I mistakenly say that in the novel "Suki" tries to keep Bond and gets pregnant by him, but her name is "Kissy". "Suki" is the original name for film's character "Aki", who doesn't appear in the novel. Also, in keeping with the film's rating, I bleep myself a couple of times.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/06/commentary-you-only-live-twice/feed/ 0 117:56 Netflix — IMDb Bond is back again and Connery plays him, this time as a humble Japanese fisherman with a "yen" for smoked salmon. (Get it!?) ... Netflix — IMDb Bond is back again and Connery plays him, this time as a humble Japanese fisherman with a "yen" for smoked salmon. (Get it!?) Ah, but the mysterious Osato Corporation has it out for him and will surely do him in if they ever get their miserable act together and if they aren't foiled by a girl. I examine the overall plan of Spectre, the specifics of that plan, the lack of a plan by Bond, and the awesomeness of ninjas and secret volcano lairs. I mock the color-coded uniforms of Blofeld's men, the awkwardness of the gadgets in Aki's sweet Toyota 2000 sports car, the incredible convenience of certain plot twists, and the absurd unlikelihood of building a rocket base in a hollowed-out volcano with no one noticing. The film mocks me by serving up ninjas attacking a rocket base in a hollowed out volcano with no #@*&$ CGI. I mistakenly say that in the novel "Suki" tries to keep Bond and gets pregnant by him, but her name is "Kissy". "Suki" is the original name for film's character "Aki", who doesn't appear in the novel. Also, in keeping with the film's rating, I bleep myself a couple of times. Note: this was recorded with a headset instead of my usual microphone, so the quality is a little lower than usual. Start the commentary with the gun barrel sequence, on the countdown. (56 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/05/commentary-star-trek-with-speakeasy/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/05/commentary-star-trek-with-speakeasy/#comments Fri, 14 May 2010 21:31:08 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2010/05/commentary-star-trek-with-speakeasy/ JJ Abrams' reboot of the storied Star Trek franchise meets its match in the form of myself and the Doctor from Speakeasy Podcast, in which we deftly pick apart the minor plot inconsistencies, such as every single thing that happens. However, we do love the film (even if it does feel like $150 million dollar fan fiction aimed at lens flare aficionados) so we fawn over the actors and effects and compare it to the original series and movies. But we also expose the ugly specter of racism and alcoholism in Starfleet (speaking of which: take a drink every time someone abandons his post as captain!). Errata: Thruout the film, I stupidly call the Narada the Naruto. Also, grog rations were ended by the British navy in 1970. And the one where Kirk angers Spock with insults is "This Side of Paradise" and not "Shore Leave". (Those are all mine. The Doctor's "facts" are all "true".)]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/05/commentary-star-trek-with-speakeasy/feed/ 0 128:58 Netflix — IMDb JJ Abrams' reboot of the storied Star Trek franchise meets its match in the form of myself and the Doctor from Speakeasy Podcast, ... Netflix — IMDb JJ Abrams' reboot of the storied Star Trek franchise meets its match in the form of myself and the Doctor from Speakeasy Podcast, in which we deftly pick apart the minor plot inconsistencies, such as every single thing that happens. However, we do love the film (even if it does feel like $150 million dollar fan fiction aimed at lens flare aficionados) so we fawn over the actors and effects and compare it to the original series and movies. But we also expose the ugly specter of racism and alcoholism in Starfleet (speaking of which: take a drink every time someone abandons his post as captain!). Errata: Thruout the film, I stupidly call the Narada the Naruto. Also, grog rations were ended by the British navy in 1970. And the one where Kirk angers Spock with insults is "This Side of Paradise" and not "Shore Leave". (Those are all mine. The Doctor's "facts" are all "true".) Start the commentary with the Paramount logo just faded out, on the countdown. (91 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/04/commentary-son-of-frankenstein/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/04/commentary-son-of-frankenstein/#comments Sun, 25 Apr 2010 02:51:47 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2010/04/commentary-son-of-frankenstein/ It's still alive! Sherlock Holmes and Dracula meet Bambi and Frankenstein's Monster in the 1939 extension of the Frankenstein mythos. I mock the hilariously bizarre architecture, the ridiculous dart game, the absurd hair (and somewhat suspicious parentage) of little Peter, and the Frankenstein Village board of commerce. I explore the father-son theme and compare it to the previous films and boldly suggest that 47+ years is a long damn time for a monster to be roaming the countryside murdering people without being discovered or getting some kind of name, especially from his decades-long live-in companion. I also suggest that if your town became famous for having a monster roaming around it, you could make a good buck off that if you market it the right way. And I gratuitously, but only momentarily, compare the Frankensteins to the royal family of England.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/04/commentary-son-of-frankenstein/feed/ 3 100:50 Netflix — IMDb It's still alive! Sherlock Holmes and Dracula meet Bambi and Frankenstein's Monster in the 1939 extension of the Frankenstein mythos. I mock the ... Netflix — IMDb It's still alive! Sherlock Holmes and Dracula meet Bambi and Frankenstein's Monster in the 1939 extension of the Frankenstein mythos. I mock the hilariously bizarre architecture, the ridiculous dart game, the absurd hair (and somewhat suspicious parentage) of little Peter, and the Frankenstein Village board of commerce. I explore the father-son theme and compare it to the previous films and boldly suggest that 47+ years is a long damn time for a monster to be roaming the countryside murdering people without being discovered or getting some kind of name, especially from his decades-long live-in companion. I also suggest that if your town became famous for having a monster roaming around it, you could make a good buck off that if you market it the right way. And I gratuitously, but only momentarily, compare the Frankensteins to the royal family of England. Start the commentary with the Universal title card, on the countdown. (48 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/04/commentary-the-thing-with-speakeasy/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/04/commentary-the-thing-with-speakeasy/#comments Sat, 03 Apr 2010 23:46:34 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2010/04/commentary-the-thing-with-speakeasy/ Kurt Russell and a bunch of "scientists" take on Rob Bottin and Stan Winston in a remake/readaptation of the 1950s monster flick, The Thing From Outer Space. The Doctor, of Speakeasy Commentaries, joins me for a third time—this time in glorious stereophonic sound. We both love the film and heap praise all over it (even on the dog) and yet fail to credit the original author, John W Campbell, Jr. ("Who Goes There") or even the screen adapter, Bill Lancaster. We address such delicate questions as "who gets assimilated when?" "why keep rotting corpses indoors?" and "what's with Doc Copper's nose ring?" as well as marvel at the number of Vietnam-haunted alcoholic pot-smokers that were sent to live in the Antarctic for months at a time with firearms, dynamite, and flame-throwers.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/04/commentary-the-thing-with-speakeasy/feed/ 0 109:37 Netflix — IMDb Kurt Russell and a bunch of "scientists" take on Rob Bottin and Stan Winston in a remake/readaptation of the 1950s monster flick, The ... Netflix — IMDb Kurt Russell and a bunch of "scientists" take on Rob Bottin and Stan Winston in a remake/readaptation of the 1950s monster flick, The Thing From Outer Space. The Doctor, of Speakeasy Commentaries, joins me for a third time—this time in glorious stereophonic sound. We both love the film and heap praise all over it (even on the dog) and yet fail to credit the original author, John W Campbell, Jr. ("Who Goes There") or even the screen adapter, Bill Lancaster. We address such delicate questions as "who gets assimilated when?" "why keep rotting corpses indoors?" and "what's with Doc Copper's nose ring?" as well as marvel at the number of Vietnam-haunted alcoholic pot-smokers that were sent to live in the Antarctic for months at a time with firearms, dynamite, and flame-throwers. Caution: Film-appropriate salty language from time to time. Bonus: A quick-reference card to help keep the characters straight! Start the commentary with the Universal title card, on the countdown. (77 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com yes no http://www.tysto.com/2010/03/commentary-phantom-menace-with-crazy-mr-plinkett/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/03/commentary-phantom-menace-with-crazy-mr-plinkett/#comments Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:46:37 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2010/03/commentary-phantom-menace-with-crazy-mr-plinkett/ Liam Nissan and Ewan McDonald's use their laser swords to fight crime in the distant future! Natalie Portman and Keira Knightly are twins! Darth Vader wants to know: "Are you an angel?" A slave boy builds a diplomatic interpreter robot to help his mom do the dishes! The Jedi Council stops at nothing sends one Jedi and his apprentice to uncover the rising Sith menace. An aquatic rabbit bumbles thru the entire movie and wins a robot battle! And WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAACE?! I edit Mr Plinkett of Red Letter Media into a commentary and interject my own observations and opinions (thereby breaking my pledge never to do a Star Wars commentary) whenever he runs out of things to rant about. Check out the original brilliantly funny and insightful video review of the film and several other terrific videos.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/03/commentary-phantom-menace-with-crazy-mr-plinkett/feed/ 0 138:15 Netflix — IMDb Liam Nissan and Ewan McDonald's use their laser swords to fight crime in the distant future! Natalie Portman and Keira Knightly are twins! ... Netflix — IMDb Liam Nissan and Ewan McDonald's use their laser swords to fight crime in the distant future! Natalie Portman and Keira Knightly are twins! Darth Vader wants to know: "Are you an angel?" A slave boy builds a diplomatic interpreter robot to help his mom do the dishes! The Jedi Council stops at nothing sends one Jedi and his apprentice to uncover the rising Sith menace. An aquatic rabbit bumbles thru the entire movie and wins a robot battle! And WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAACE?! I edit Mr Plinkett of Red Letter Media into a commentary and interject my own observations and opinions (thereby breaking my pledge never to do a Star Wars commentary) whenever he runs out of things to rant about. Check out the original brilliantly funny and insightful video review of the film and several other terrific videos. Warning: Strong language thruout. Also, strong weirdness on and off. Note: This is a semi-authorized version of Mr. Plinkett's work, in that he basically said, 'Well, it's not like I can stop you," and I contributed to his legal defense fund. Start the commentary with the 20th Century Fox fanfare, on the countdown. (65 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com yes no http://www.tysto.com/2010/03/commentary-48-hrs/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/03/commentary-48-hrs/#comments Sat, 06 Mar 2010 06:24:11 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=3044b2da720478974b3831a5825e74b3feb16203324b64d8d58bfeb4b677a18639a24b788b7c2f0844b8b30217f7c7 Nick Nolte is a dirty, drunken jerk of a cop who needs Eddie Murphy's help to find a couple of crazy killers loose in San Francisco. I discuss the role of film as a bridge between 1970s cop movies and 1980s cop movies, place it in context with similar films, and examine the unusual structure. I explore how it fits into director Walter Hill's career as well as Nolte's and Murphy's. I pick apart the police procedural aspects, the weak romantic subplots, and the racial themes.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/03/commentary-48-hrs/feed/ 0 97:19 Netflix — IMDb Nick Nolte is a dirty, drunken jerk of a cop who needs Eddie Murphy's help to find a couple of crazy killers loose ... Netflix — IMDb Nick Nolte is a dirty, drunken jerk of a cop who needs Eddie Murphy's help to find a couple of crazy killers loose in San Francisco. I discuss the role of film as a bridge between 1970s cop movies and 1980s cop movies, place it in context with similar films, and examine the unusual structure. I explore how it fits into director Walter Hill's career as well as Nolte's and Murphy's. I pick apart the police procedural aspects, the weak romantic subplots, and the racial themes. Start the commentary after the Paramount logo fades out, on the countdown. (46 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/02/commentary-jumanji/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/02/commentary-jumanji/#comments Mon, 15 Feb 2010 00:22:16 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=3044b2da720478974b3831a5825e74b3feb16203324b64d8d58bfeb4b677a18639a24b788b7c2f084 Robin Williams falls into and out of the jungle world of Jumanji, fights a merciless killer, and realizes what it means to become a man (at least the standing-up-to-your-fears part; not so much the winkie-and-hoo-ha part). Join me as I deconstruct the movie's theme of game-as-rite-of-passage and the Alan vs Van Pelt conflict; plan to make contingency plans for bad special effects if I write a screenplay; and laugh at the slow rhino. I also analyze the minor character roles, pick apart the rule that someone has to roll a 5 or 8 when there's only one player left to roll the dice, and try to think of a reason to bury a really cool box full of something really cool so children can eventually find it.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/02/commentary-jumanji/feed/ 0 99:52 Netflix — IMDb Robin Williams falls into and out of the jungle world of Jumanji, fights a merciless killer, and realizes what it means to become ... Netflix — IMDb Robin Williams falls into and out of the jungle world of Jumanji, fights a merciless killer, and realizes what it means to become a man (at least the standing-up-to-your-fears part; not so much the winkie-and-hoo-ha part). Join me as I deconstruct the movie's theme of game-as-rite-of-passage and the Alan vs Van Pelt conflict; plan to make contingency plans for bad special effects if I write a screenplay; and laugh at the slow rhino. I also analyze the minor character roles, pick apart the rule that someone has to roll a 5 or 8 when there's only one player left to roll the dice, and try to think of a reason to bury a really cool box full of something really cool so children can eventually find it. Start the commentary after the Tristar logo fades out, on the countdown. (47 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/02/commentary-iron-man-with-speakeasy/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/02/commentary-iron-man-with-speakeasy/#comments Tue, 02 Feb 2010 01:34:08 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=3044b2da720478974b3831a5825e74b3feb16203324b64d8d58bfeb4b677a18639a2 Robert Downey, Jr. is Tony Stark! Tony Stark is Iron Man! Join me as I join The Doctor from Speakeasy Commentaries for the second time for a transoceanic fan commentary from two ridiculous movie/comic book geeks. The Doctor proves to be more of a comic book geek, as he explains the back story and history of Iron Man in the comic books (the storyline "Demon in a Bottle" is the one where Tony confronts his alcoholism). I prove to be more of the movie and music geek, as I explain the plot of A Christmas Story (Ralphie appears as a scientist) and the connection to Ozzy Osbourne (Ozzy sang for Black Sabbath and did the song "Iron Man"). We discuss Robert Downey, Jr. and Jon Favreau's other work and arrest records. We get off track in a discussion of national health care. The Doctor claims they've never shown Gilligan's Island in England. And I claim to be excited by the prospect of a Scarlet Witch movie. However, we are both very excited by the prospect of Iron Man 2 as well as an Avengers movie, especially with Samuel L Jackson.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/02/commentary-iron-man-with-speakeasy/feed/ 1 134:44 Netflix — IMDb Robert Downey, Jr. is Tony Stark! Tony Stark is Iron Man! Join me as I join The Doctor from Speakeasy Commentaries for the ... Netflix — IMDb Robert Downey, Jr. is Tony Stark! Tony Stark is Iron Man! Join me as I join The Doctor from Speakeasy Commentaries for the second time for a transoceanic fan commentary from two ridiculous movie/comic book geeks. The Doctor proves to be more of a comic book geek, as he explains the back story and history of Iron Man in the comic books (the storyline "Demon in a Bottle" is the one where Tony confronts his alcoholism). I prove to be more of the movie and music geek, as I explain the plot of A Christmas Story (Ralphie appears as a scientist) and the connection to Ozzy Osbourne (Ozzy sang for Black Sabbath and did the song "Iron Man"). We discuss Robert Downey, Jr. and Jon Favreau's other work and arrest records. We get off track in a discussion of national health care. The Doctor claims they've never shown Gilligan's Island in England. And I claim to be excited by the prospect of a Scarlet Witch movie. However, we are both very excited by the prospect of Iron Man 2 as well as an Avengers movie, especially with Samuel L Jackson. Momentary explicit language, at least when discussing Samuel "MFer" Jackson. Start the commentary after the Paramount logo fades out, on the countdown. (62 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com yes no http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-back-to-the-future/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-back-to-the-future/#comments Sun, 31 Jan 2010 01:30:50 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=3044b2da720478974b3831a5825e74b3feb16203324b64d8d58bfeb Michael J Fox leaps into the past in a nuclear-powered Delorean in Steven Spielberg's Robert Zemeckis's 1985 time travel movie to end all time travel movies (except for the two sequels and the cartoon series). I discuss the nature of time travel, point out the links to other films (like 1960's The Time Machine), and blather on at some length about the cars and the history of rock and roll from 1951 to 1955.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-back-to-the-future/feed/ 0 117:13 Netflix — IMDb Michael J Fox leaps into the past in a nuclear-powered Delorean in Steven Spielberg's Robert Zemeckis's 1985 time travel movie to end all ... Netflix — IMDb Michael J Fox leaps into the past in a nuclear-powered Delorean in Steven Spielberg's Robert Zemeckis's 1985 time travel movie to end all time travel movies (except for the two sequels and the cartoon series). I discuss the nature of time travel, point out the links to other films (like 1960's The Time Machine), and blather on at some length about the cars and the history of rock and roll from 1951 to 1955. Start the commentary when the Universal logo fades, on my countdown. (55 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-indiana-jones-the-temple-of-doom/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-indiana-jones-the-temple-of-doom/#comments Sat, 16 Jan 2010 12:55:51 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=3044b2da720478974b3831a5825e74b3feb1620332 Indy is back... uhh... pre-back... back earlier... whatever—in a prequel adventure set one year earlier in Asia, land of mystery and peril! (Before it became the land of cheap toys and tech support.) I compare it to the first and third movies and try to ignore the fourth. I discuss my surprising affection for both Short Round and Willie. I marvel at Lucas and Spielberg's ability to get child torture into a teen adventure film. (The secret: have a child do the torturing!) I deconstruct the episodic nature of the film and reveal the dullness of the middle part where they're just trudging thru jungle, playing cards, and getting slightly scared by animals. I discuss the problem of stacking all the action at the end, which of course is related. And I point out which characters are actually of no real value.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-indiana-jones-the-temple-of-doom/feed/ 0 117:57 Netflix — IMDb Indy is back... uhh... pre-back... back earlier... whatever—in a prequel adventure set one year earlier in Asia, land of mystery and peril! (Before ... Netflix — IMDb Indy is back... uhh... pre-back... back earlier... whatever—in a prequel adventure set one year earlier in Asia, land of mystery and peril! (Before it became the land of cheap toys and tech support.) I compare it to the first and third movies and try to ignore the fourth. I discuss my surprising affection for both Short Round and Willie. I marvel at Lucas and Spielberg's ability to get child torture into a teen adventure film. (The secret: have a child do the torturing!) I deconstruct the episodic nature of the film and reveal the dullness of the middle part where they're just trudging thru jungle, playing cards, and getting slightly scared by animals. I discuss the problem of stacking all the action at the end, which of course is related. And I point out which characters are actually of no real value. Start the commentary when the Paramount logo fades, on my countdown. (54 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-thunderball/ http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-thunderball/#comments Sat, 02 Jan 2010 04:18:46 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=3044b2da720478974b3831a5825e7 James Bond has returned in his fourth adventure, this time facing his deadliest foe yet: Spectre, headed by Blofeld, who wants to hold the world ransom for (pinky to lip) one hundred million dollars! I take the story apart, questioning why no one else notices the clues in the photos all the double-0 agents get, how weird and kind of pointless it is that Bond had a fight with the guy Blofeld hired to deliver his audio taped demands, and how weird and kind of pointless it is that Largo hooked up with the sister of the guy he recruited to steal the nuclear bombs. I marvel as Bond dances on a leg with a bleeding gunshot wound. I blither as nameless, faceless men stab each other under water. And I compare the film to the book and somewhat to the later non-Eon remake Never Say Never Again.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2010/01/commentary-thunderball/feed/ 3 132:42 Netflix — IMDb James Bond has returned in his fourth adventure, this time facing his deadliest foe yet: Spectre, headed by Blofeld, who wants to hold ... Netflix — IMDb James Bond has returned in his fourth adventure, this time facing his deadliest foe yet: Spectre, headed by Blofeld, who wants to hold the world ransom for (pinky to lip) one hundred million dollars! I take the story apart, questioning why no one else notices the clues in the photos all the double-0 agents get, how weird and kind of pointless it is that Bond had a fight with the guy Blofeld hired to deliver his audio taped demands, and how weird and kind of pointless it is that Largo hooked up with the sister of the guy he recruited to steal the nuclear bombs. I marvel as Bond dances on a leg with a bleeding gunshot wound. I blither as nameless, faceless men stab each other under water. And I compare the film to the book and somewhat to the later non-Eon remake Never Say Never Again. Start the film after the MGM lion on my countdown. (62 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/commentary-mega-shark-vs-giant-octopus/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/commentary-mega-shark-vs-giant-octopus/#comments Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:57:15 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=3044b2da72047897 Avast and ahoy, matey! There be monsters here! Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas arise out of the '80s to attack a defenseless mega shark and an innocent giant octopus with submarines. Join me as I watch this SyFy channel video nasty for the very first time and marvel at the fake buttons, Ed Wood sets, and hot scientist-on-scientist action. I sing a little Debbie Gibson and call Lorenzo Lamas "Fernando Lamas" a couple of times (they're father and son). Also, I misquote Jaws* and Jerry Maguire** somewhat.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/commentary-mega-shark-vs-giant-octopus/feed/ 0 94:38 Netflix — IMDb Avast and ahoy, matey! There be monsters here! Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas arise out of the '80s to attack a defenseless mega ... Netflix — IMDb Avast and ahoy, matey! There be monsters here! Deborah Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas arise out of the '80s to attack a defenseless mega shark and an innocent giant octopus with submarines. Join me as I watch this SyFy channel video nasty for the very first time and marvel at the fake buttons, Ed Wood sets, and hot scientist-on-scientist action. I sing a little Debbie Gibson and call Lorenzo Lamas "Fernando Lamas" a couple of times (they're father and son). Also, I misquote Jaws* and Jerry Maguire** somewhat. * "The thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes." ** "D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds? ... D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?" Entertainment Tysto.com yes no http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/commentary-die-hard/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/commentary-die-hard/#comments Tue, 08 Dec 2009 22:57:15 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=304 Join me as I take on the greatest '80s action movie of all. Bruce Willis gets the crap beaten out of him as New York cop John McClane. Alan Rickman is terrorist* criminal genius Hans Gruber. Bonnie Bedelia is a big-haired, shoulder-padded chess piece. That one bad guy from The Goonies is one of the incompetent FBI guys that we need more of. That vice-principal guy from The Breakfast Club is one of many, many incompetent cops. Reginald Van Gleason Reginald VelJohnson is the guy who eats the Twinkies and is also an incompetent cop. I discuss the film as a chess match and compare it to the other Die Hard films and other action films of the era and the eras before and after. I examine why parts of the film are terrible despite the whole being a work of unparalleled genius. And I mock the Eurotrash bad guys from time to time and attempt to straighten out the "Shoot the glass" thing. ]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/commentary-die-hard/feed/ 0 132:17 Netflix — IMDb Join me as I take on the greatest '80s action movie of all. Bruce Willis gets the crap beaten out of him as ... Netflix — IMDb Join me as I take on the greatest '80s action movie of all. Bruce Willis gets the crap beaten out of him as New York cop John McClane. Alan Rickman is terrorist* criminal genius Hans Gruber. Bonnie Bedelia is a big-haired, shoulder-padded chess piece. That one bad guy from The Goonies is one of the incompetent FBI guys that we need more of. That vice-principal guy from The Breakfast Club is one of many, many incompetent cops. Reginald Van Gleason Reginald VelJohnson is the guy who eats the Twinkies and is also an incompetent cop. I discuss the film as a chess match and compare it to the other Die Hard films and other action films of the era and the eras before and after. I examine why parts of the film are terrible despite the whole being a work of unparalleled genius. And I mock the Eurotrash bad guys from time to time and attempt to straighten out the "Shoot the glass" thing. * Who said they were terrorists? Start the film with the countdown. (62 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/50th-commentary-extravaganza-i-robot/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/50th-commentary-extravaganza-i-robot/#comments Sat, 05 Dec 2009 08:06:25 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=296 Will Smith and a colorless, odorless, brunette battle the evil that is slightly buggy computer programming in this thrilling adaptation of none of Isaac Asimov's thought-provoking works. For this, the big 50th Tysto audio commentary, I am joined by Scott of Speakeasy Commentaries, a big fan of Asimov's work and an expert on science fiction in general. We stumble thru the introductions and then get right to the heart of mocking the product placement and the idea that this robot-filled, self-driving-car, Lake-Michigan-landfill world is only 31 years in the future of 2004. We explore sci-fi in general and Asimov in specific, as well as how terrible a driver Detective Spooner is and whether or not Doctor Lanning's cat is a robot, as well as making some Fresh Prince of Bel-Air jokes.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/12/50th-commentary-extravaganza-i-robot/feed/ 0 116:39 Netflix — IMDb Will Smith and a colorless, odorless, brunette battle the evil that is slightly buggy computer programming in this thrilling adaptation of none of ... Netflix — IMDb Will Smith and a colorless, odorless, brunette battle the evil that is slightly buggy computer programming in this thrilling adaptation of none of Isaac Asimov's thought-provoking works. For this, the big 50th Tysto audio commentary, I am joined by Scott of Speakeasy Commentaries, a big fan of Asimov's work and an expert on science fiction in general. We stumble thru the introductions and then get right to the heart of mocking the product placement and the idea that this robot-filled, self-driving-car, Lake-Michigan-landfill world is only 31 years in the future of 2004. We explore sci-fi in general and Asimov in specific, as well as how terrible a driver Detective Spooner is and whether or not Doctor Lanning's cat is a robot, as well as making some Fresh Prince of Bel-Air jokes. Momentary explicit language, at least when discussing how sh** gets real in Will Smith movies. This is the 34th regular commentary, plus the La Dolce Vita experimental one, plus the 15 commentaries for Firefly. That equals 50 total. Wait for my countdown to start the film just after the 20th Century Fox logo. (55 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/tysto-film-commentaries/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/tysto-film-commentaries/#comments Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:15:17 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=257 I love movies and I especially love commentaries. So I got myself a microphone and produced some of my own. This is the master list of all my commentaries.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/tysto-film-commentaries/feed/ 0 http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/commentary-the-39-steps/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/commentary-the-39-steps/#comments Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:52:37 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=252 Alfred Hitchcock presents his first big hit with all the trimmings: the innocent man taking it on the lam, the tough and beautiful blond sparring with him, the quirky humor, and the weird conclusion. Listen as I compare the film to Young and Innocent and North by Northwest, talk about Hitchcock's early work and developing style, joke about the Scottish stereotypes, and stumble over British currency. Plus, you learn what a "crofter" is. Please note, however, that you will not learn what causes pip in poultry or how old Mae West is. Who am I? Mr. Memory?]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/commentary-the-39-steps/feed/ 0 89:42 Netflix — IMDb Alfred Hitchcock presents his first big hit with all the trimmings: the innocent man taking it on the lam, the tough and beautiful ... Netflix — IMDb Alfred Hitchcock presents his first big hit with all the trimmings: the innocent man taking it on the lam, the tough and beautiful blond sparring with him, the quirky humor, and the weird conclusion. Listen as I compare the film to Young and Innocent and North by Northwest, talk about Hitchcock's early work and developing style, joke about the Scottish stereotypes, and stumble over British currency. Plus, you learn what a "crofter" is. Please note, however, that you will not learn what causes pip in poultry or how old Mae West is. Who am I? Mr. Memory? Note: I mistakenly call Godfrey Tearle "Geoffrey." I mention Hitch's annoyance at Montgomery Clift and Paul Newman for their acting style. They were indeed both Method actors. Also, British currency was decimalized in 1971 rather than my guess of 1972. Wait for my countdown to start the film with the title card, after the film board rating. (42 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/commentary-king-kong-1933/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/commentary-king-kong-1933/#comments Fri, 06 Nov 2009 04:13:01 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=248 The greatest of great apes is trapped by tiny men and dragged to New York, where he runs amok, all for the affections of a dame. I give a little of the history of the production, point out some of the successes and failings, analyze the structure, and mock the stuntman who gets squashed by a giant ape foot. I frequently compare the film to the 1976 version and occasionally to the 2005 version. This is kind of a quickie commentary, done without as much post-production as I've been doing lately (no EchoSync). I am joined for the first 15 minutes by my little niece, who doesn't have nearly as much to say here as she did about Paul McCartney in Help.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/11/commentary-king-kong-1933/feed/ 0 105:38 Netflix — IMDb The greatest of great apes is trapped by tiny men and dragged to New York, where he runs amok, all for the affections ... Netflix — IMDb The greatest of great apes is trapped by tiny men and dragged to New York, where he runs amok, all for the affections of a dame. I give a little of the history of the production, point out some of the successes and failings, analyze the structure, and mock the stuntman who gets squashed by a giant ape foot. I frequently compare the film to the 1976 version and occasionally to the 2005 version. This is kind of a quickie commentary, done without as much post-production as I've been doing lately (no EchoSync). I am joined for the first 15 minutes by my little niece, who doesn't have nearly as much to say here as she did about Paul McCartney in Help. Wait for my countdown to start the film with the overture (or the film proper, when I give the cue). (50 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-the-princess-bride/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-the-princess-bride/#comments Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:18:26 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=239 William Goldman edits Simon Morgenstern's rollicking adventure of pirates and princesses, swordplay and swamps down to "the good parts," and I put all the missing pieces back in, carefully reconstructing the original narrative, in all its gruesome, graphic, weird, and perverse detail. Altho there's no vulgar language, this commentary is rated M for mature.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-the-princess-bride/feed/ 1 97:28 Netflix — IMDb William Goldman edits Simon Morgenstern's rollicking adventure of pirates and princesses, swordplay and swamps down to "the good parts," and I put all ... Netflix — IMDb William Goldman edits Simon Morgenstern's rollicking adventure of pirates and princesses, swordplay and swamps down to "the good parts," and I put all the missing pieces back in, carefully reconstructing the original narrative, in all its gruesome, graphic, weird, and perverse detail. Altho there's no vulgar language, this commentary is rated M for mature. Among other things from the original Morgenstern version of the story, I explain: How Buttercup comes from a family of hookers What happened to Westley—and the letters he wrote to Buttercup—while he was on the Revenge Where Inigo's father hid the sword so Inigo could still have it The many layers of family man, scientist, and charity patron Vizzini What Westley's body originally said he had reason to live for Who lost what limbs in the course of the story How Inigo could take several wounds and yet get stronger The truth about Inigo's father's fate Additionally, I explain: Simon Morgenstern's background, and who in the story represents him Who in history learned the hard way that a land war in Asia is a bad idea Whether or not I would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley, the Dread Pirate Sue-Ellen, or the Dread Pirate Sheldon What parts George Lucas stole for Star Wars from the original novel and therefore couldn't be used in this movie How Buttercup's best character moments are utterly disastrous Whom Inigo should have asked about a six-fingered man How a wood-and-porcelain artificial bowel works Wait for my countdown to start the film with the MGM lion. (47 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com yes no http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-the-hidden-fortress/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-the-hidden-fortress/#comments Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:46:38 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=227 Akira Kurosawa produces a taut samurai adventure of fear, greed, intimidation, theft, bumbling, self-sacrifice, cowardice, courage, betrayal, pantomime, song and dance, attempted rape, and other hilarity in this 1958 mini-epic that famously inspired the Star Wars saga. I detail the connections between the characters and events in this with those in the Star Wars movies, ridicule the central characters, and boldly suggest that this movie needs a villain like Darth Vader, all while avoiding pronouncing almost all the Japanese names or making ethnically insensitive jokes. And I never mention Jar-Jar Binks (ptooh!) once.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-the-hidden-fortress/feed/ 2 140:10 Netflix — IMDb Akira Kurosawa produces a taut samurai adventure of fear, greed, intimidation, theft, bumbling, self-sacrifice, cowardice, courage, betrayal, pantomime, song and dance, attempted rape, ... Netflix — IMDb Akira Kurosawa produces a taut samurai adventure of fear, greed, intimidation, theft, bumbling, self-sacrifice, cowardice, courage, betrayal, pantomime, song and dance, attempted rape, and other hilarity in this 1958 mini-epic that famously inspired the Star Wars saga. I detail the connections between the characters and events in this with those in the Star Wars movies, ridicule the central characters, and boldly suggest that this movie needs a villain like Darth Vader, all while avoiding pronouncing almost all the Japanese names or making ethnically insensitive jokes. And I never mention Jar-Jar Binks (ptooh!) once. Note: I mistakenly say that, in the original Star Wars movie, the planet Dantooine gets destroyed by the Death Star, but it's Alderaan that gets destroyed despite Leia's lie, because they just happen to be near Alderaan. Also, I accidentally say that Darth Vader rather than Obi-Wan gets cut down and becomes a "force ghost." Wait for my countdown to start the film with the Janus title logo. (66 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-werewolf-of-london/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-werewolf-of-london/#comments Fri, 02 Oct 2009 18:21:05 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=218 Mrs. Frankenstein appears in another of the eight (8!) films she made in 1935 along with her ancient husband and aged childhood playmate in the very first feature-length werewolf movie! Mad botanist (you read that right) Dr. Glendon picks up a social disease in a foreign country and hides it from his wife while he tries to find a cure. Join me as I give the film a gentle ribbing even while admiring its entertaining aspects. I explain the history of werewolf lore and cinema, and I compare it to vampire and Frankenstein stories, not to mention the Hulk. And I disassemble it as a metaphor for serial killers versus a metaphor for puberty. Oh, and I ramble on after the end of the movie for about 10 minutes.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/10/commentary-werewolf-of-london/feed/ 0 84:00 Netflix — IMDb Mrs. Frankenstein appears in another of the eight (8!) films she made in 1935 along with her ancient husband and aged childhood playmate ... Netflix — IMDb Mrs. Frankenstein appears in another of the eight (8!) films she made in 1935 along with her ancient husband and aged childhood playmate in the very first feature-length werewolf movie! Mad botanist (you read that right) Dr. Glendon picks up a social disease in a foreign country and hides it from his wife while he tries to find a cure. Join me as I give the film a gentle ribbing even while admiring its entertaining aspects. I explain the history of werewolf lore and cinema, and I compare it to vampire and Frankenstein stories, not to mention the Hulk. And I disassemble it as a metaphor for serial killers versus a metaphor for puberty. Oh, and I ramble on after the end of the movie for about 10 minutes. Early on, I seem to say that the 1931 Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was not well received. What I meant was that this movie was negatively compared to it; Frederic March actually got Best Actor Oscar for playing Jekyll and Hyde. Wait for my countdown to start the film with the Universal title logo. (37 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/09/mystery-science-theater-3000-the-movie/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/09/mystery-science-theater-3000-the-movie/#comments Tue, 08 Sep 2009 15:11:31 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=155 Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo are forced by evil mad scientist Doctor Forrester to sit and watch the 1955 stink bomb This Island Earth. They make the best of it, assaulting the film with every fiber of their beings in this, their grab at the big-screen brass ring. I make the most of it as well, delivering calm, cool analysis all along the way, such as comparing this film to Citizen Kane and explaining why I'm not commentating on Mystery Science Theater 2000 or Mystery Science Theater 1000. Join me.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/09/mystery-science-theater-3000-the-movie/feed/ 0 77:33 Netflix — IMDb Mike and robot friends Crow and Tom Servo are forced by evil mad scientist Doctor Forrester to sit and watch the 1955 stink ... Netflix — IMDb Mike and robot friends Crow and Tom Servo are forced by evil mad scientist Doctor Forrester to sit and watch the 1955 stink bomb This Island Earth. They make the best of it, assaulting the film with every fiber of their beings in this, their grab at the big-screen brass ring. I make the most of it as well, delivering calm, cool analysis all along the way, such as comparing this film to Citizen Kane and explaining why I'm not commentating on Mystery Science Theater 2000 or Mystery Science Theater 1000. I also provide a limitless stream of cold, hard facts, including, but not limited to: How the film is based on real experiments conducted in the American South in the 1940s How gross budget overruns were caused by building and launching into space an actual satellite for the filming Crow T Robot's origin as an assassin android during World War 1 What makes Mike rush to the theater when he gets movie sign Why all controls in an airplane's co-pilot seat are labeled backwards The history of interoceter broadcasting, such as the original Howdy Doody, before he died and was replaced by a puppet How the term "booby hatch" was derived from the Italian swannery "Bubaria Haccieria" How Flipper was only one of several "fish story" TV shows, including fish private eyes and fish lawyers Famous people who have suffered from pantophiliamania (the compulsion to horde underpants) Why many Bostonians consider depictions of the circulatory system to be pornographic Why scientist Niels Bohr was trapped by glue for his wedding ceremony Which homicidal movie stuntman was the subject of the bio-pic Halloween Join me. Wait for my countdown to start the film with the Universal title logo. (37 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/09/a-fistful-of-dollars/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/09/a-fistful-of-dollars/#comments Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:36:07 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=121 Sergio Leone re-envisions Kurasowa's Yojimbo... and gets the pantoloni sued off him. But nevertheless, he gives the world Clint Eastwood as The Man With No Name (as long as you don't count "Joe", "Manco", or "Blondie" as names). Join me as I directly compare the two films from scene to scene all the way along. But you only need A Fistful of Dollars to enjoy it. Unlike most of my commentaries, I don't really talk about the actors (other than Eastwood). Instead, I compare the two film-makers' vision and message and address the noir source material. I compare the character of "Joe" with Yojimbo's "Sanjuro." I compare the pacing and the scope of the cinematography. And I compare the plots and plot devices scene-by-scene. I even compare the characters, altho I always focus on Fistful, and I avoid the Japanese names as much as possible.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/09/a-fistful-of-dollars/feed/ 0 117:30 Netflix — IMDb Sergio Leone re-envisions Kurasowa's Yojimbo... and gets the pantoloni sued off him. But nevertheless, he gives the world Clint Eastwood as The Man ... Netflix — IMDb Sergio Leone re-envisions Kurasowa's Yojimbo... and gets the pantoloni sued off him. But nevertheless, he gives the world Clint Eastwood as The Man With No Name (as long as you don't count "Joe", "Manco", or "Blondie" as names). Join me as I directly compare the two films from scene to scene all the way along. But you only need A Fistful of Dollars to enjoy it. Unlike most of my commentaries, I don't really talk about the actors (other than Eastwood). Instead, I compare the two film-makers' vision and message and address the noir source material. I compare the character of  "Joe" with Yojimbo's "Sanjuro." I compare the pacing and the scope of the cinematography. And I compare the plots and plot devices scene-by-scene. I even compare the characters, altho I always focus on Fistful, and I avoid the Japanese names as much as possible. Start the film after studio title at the same time you start the commentary. If you choose to watch with Yojimbo also, start it at the Janus title card. (54 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/08/horror-of-dracula/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/08/horror-of-dracula/#comments Sun, 16 Aug 2009 02:12:44 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=186 Saruman dons the cape and fangs for his first turn as the granddaddy of all vampires, Count Dracula, in Hammer's second big horror venture. Grand Moff Tarkin dons pimp gear to take him on as Doctor Van Helsing. Alfred the butler comes along for the ride as Arthur Holmwood. Somehow I remember to mention that Michael Gough played Alfred the butler in the Batman movies but forget to mention that Christopher Lee was in The Lord of the Rings and Peter Cushing was in Star Wars. Pretty girls Middle-aged women fall victim to the charms of the vampire in the dark curiously well-lit night in diaphanous Baptist-approved nightgowns. I try to keep the characters straight and explain how their names were changed from novel to movie. And I discuss anachronisms like blood transfusion and teddy bears. That's right! You never thought you'd get a lesson in the history of teddy bears in a vampire movie, did you?!]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/08/horror-of-dracula/feed/ 0 86:51 Netflix — IMDb Saruman dons the cape and fangs for his first turn as the granddaddy of all vampires, Count Dracula, in Hammer's second big horror ... Netflix — IMDb Saruman dons the cape and fangs for his first turn as the granddaddy of all vampires, Count Dracula, in Hammer's second big horror venture. Grand Moff Tarkin dons pimp gear to take him on as Doctor Van Helsing. Alfred the butler comes along for the ride as Arthur Holmwood. Somehow I remember to mention that Michael Gough played Alfred the butler in the Batman movies but forget to mention that Christopher Lee was in The Lord of the Rings and Peter Cushing was in Star Wars. Pretty girls Middle-aged women fall victim to the charms of the vampire in the dark curiously well-lit night in diaphanous Baptist-approved nightgowns. I try to keep the characters straight and explain how their names were changed from novel to movie. And I discuss anachronisms like blood transfusion and teddy bears. That's right! You never thought you'd get a lesson in the history of teddy bears in a vampire movie, did you?! Start the film at the Warner Brothers logo when I give the cue. (41 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/08/the-curse-of-frankenstein/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/08/the-curse-of-frankenstein/#comments Tue, 04 Aug 2009 02:32:47 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=195 The puppy is alive! Alive! Peter Cushing takes up the role of the madman Victor Frankenstein, desperately trying to pursue his life's work of discovering the secret of life while constantly being nagged by his mentor, his fiancee, and his housemaid. Christopher Lee takes up the role of the mute, murderous monster with the greatest brain in Europe. I compare this first big Hammer horror classic extensively with Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein and with the original novel. I speculate on the doctor's youth, or lack thereof, and his disinclination to redecorate for 15 years. And I wax poetic about beaver hats, cravats, and nightgowns with built-in underwire bras.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/08/the-curse-of-frankenstein/feed/ 0 89:47 Netflix — IMDb The puppy is alive! Alive! Peter Cushing takes up the role of the madman Victor Frankenstein, desperately trying to pursue his life's work ... Netflix — IMDb The puppy is alive! Alive! Peter Cushing takes up the role of the madman Victor Frankenstein, desperately trying to pursue his life's work of discovering the secret of life while constantly being nagged by his mentor, his fiancee, and his housemaid. Christopher Lee takes up the role of the mute, murderous monster with the greatest brain in Europe. I compare this first big Hammer horror classic extensively with Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein and with the original novel. I speculate on the doctor's youth, or lack thereof, and his disinclination to redecorate for 15 years. And I wax poetic about beaver hats, cravats, and nightgowns with built-in underwire bras. Start the film at the Warner Brothers logo when I give the cue. (41 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/07/commentary-bride-of-frankenstein/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/07/commentary-bride-of-frankenstein/#comments Mon, 20 Jul 2009 02:50:38 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=204 She's alive! Alive! The inferior-yet-still-classic sequel to Frankenstein is given the full Tysto treatment. I compare this film to the 1931 original and to Young Frankenstein. I complain bitterly about Una "Jar-Jar Binks" O'Connor. I welcome Valerie Hobston's cleavage as the replacement Elizabeth and welcome back Dwight Frye as the assistant-who-is-definitely-not-the-dead-hunchback-Fritz. I complain a bit about the presence of Doctor Pretorius and compare him to Doctor Waldman of the first film. And I finally get around to mentioning Jack Pierce, the legendary make-up effects artist.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/07/commentary-bride-of-frankenstein/feed/ 0 1:17:04 Netflix — IMDb She's alive! Alive! The inferior-yet-still-classic sequel to Frankenstein is given the full Tysto treatment. I compare this film to the 1931 original and ... Netflix — IMDb She's alive! Alive! The inferior-yet-still-classic sequel to Frankenstein is given the full Tysto treatment. I compare this film to the 1931 original and to Young Frankenstein. I complain bitterly about Una "Jar-Jar Binks" O'Connor. I welcome Valerie Hobston's cleavage as the replacement Elizabeth and welcome back Dwight Frye as the assistant-who-is-definitely-not-the-dead-hunchback-Fritz. I complain a bit about the presence of Doctor Pretorius and compare him to Doctor Waldman of the first film. And I finally get around to mentioning Jack Pierce, the legendary make-up effects artist. Start the film at the Universal logo when I give the cue. (37 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/07/commentary-frankenstein/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/07/commentary-frankenstein/#comments Sun, 12 Jul 2009 04:33:03 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=208 It's alive! It's alive! It's the horror super-classic that introduced the world to Frankenstein's monster as we know it today. I compare it (sort of) to the novel and (sort of) to Young Frankenstein, as well as to Dracula, which I've also done a commentary for. I give a lot of background and talk about the economy of story-telling that lasts until the film slows to a crawl with talky drawing room scenes. I sympathize with Fritz and then blame him for the whole tragedy. I sympathize with the monster and explain that I want my misunderstood monsters to act with criminal negligence. I point out plot holes, such as how a brain in a jar could be better than the brain of a fresh corpse with a broken neck and how Maria's father knew she was murdered. I mistakenly say that Mary Shelley doesn't mention grave-robbing, but she does, briefly. I pan James Whale and praise Karloff as one of the greatest of all cinema heavies and one of the nicest men you'd ever hope to meet.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/07/commentary-frankenstein/feed/ 0 1:17:31 Netflix — IMDb It's alive! It's alive! It's the horror super-classic that introduced the world to Frankenstein's monster as we know it today. I compare it ... Netflix — IMDb It's alive! It's alive! It's the horror super-classic that introduced the world to Frankenstein's monster as we know it today. I compare it (sort of) to the novel and (sort of) to Young Frankenstein, as well as to Dracula, which I've also done a commentary for. I give a lot of background and talk about the economy of story-telling that lasts until the film slows to a crawl with talky drawing room scenes. I sympathize with Fritz and then blame him for the whole tragedy. I sympathize with the monster and explain that I want my misunderstood monsters to act with criminal negligence. I point out plot holes, such as how a brain in a jar could be better than the brain of a fresh corpse with a broken neck and how Maria's father knew she was murdered. I mistakenly say that Mary Shelley doesn't mention grave-robbing, but she does, briefly. I pan James Whale and praise Karloff as one of the greatest of all cinema heavies and one of the nicest men you'd ever hope to meet. Bonus: The entire novel, searchable and browsable. Start the film at the stage introduction when I give the cue. This commentary features the first use of my EchoSync technology, to make it easier to syncronize the movie with the commentary. (36 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/01/commentary-help/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/01/commentary-help/#comments Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:42:24 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=211 My 5-year-old niece and I lend a helping hand to the Beatles in their second film, the full-color presentation of Help! Ringo becomes the target of an Indian (dots, not feathers) cult of Kali (or Kah-ili, as they say), probably still smarting from the drubbing they took from Indiana Jones thirty years before. I identify some of the cars (and tanks), and explain some of the background surrounding filming, such as how the Beatles were so stoned they didn't know what the movie was about, how much a curling stone weighs, and how dumb it is to shoot outdoors in England in March. Keely explains some of the plot, sings along a little, and identifies which Beatles are cute. A good time was had by all.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/01/commentary-help/feed/ 0 1:32:06 Netflix — IMDb My 5-year-old niece and I lend a helping hand to the Beatles in their second film, the full-color presentation of Help! Ringo becomes ... Netflix — IMDb My 5-year-old niece and I lend a helping hand to the Beatles in their second film, the full-color presentation of Help! Ringo becomes the target of an Indian (dots, not feathers) cult of Kali (or Kah-ili, as they say), probably still smarting from the drubbing they took from Indiana Jones thirty years before. I identify some of the cars (and tanks), and explain some of the background surrounding filming, such as how the Beatles were so stoned they didn't know what the movie was about, how much a curling stone weighs, and how dumb it is to shoot outdoors in England in March. Keely explains some of the plot, sings along a little, and identifies which Beatles are cute. A good time was had by all. Listened to this again and noticed two small errors: I say Ringo and John are both about 25 and then mistakenly say the Ringo is "a few years older" instead of "a few months older." Also, I say the "Webley automatic" line is incorrect, but the name of the gun actually is "Webley Automatic Revolver," where Automatic refers to the fact that it cocks itself (in a crude, revolver version of the action perfected later in the Browning HP and Colt M1911). You learn something new every day. Start the film with the opening in the Indian temple at the same time as you start the commentary. (43 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2009/01/commentary-o-brother-where-art-thou/ http://www.tysto.com/2009/01/commentary-o-brother-where-art-thou/#comments Sat, 03 Jan 2009 04:51:14 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=215 The Coen Brothers succeed in creating an almost magical pastiche of 1930s crime and ancient Greek epic and even make it funny, with George Clooney as the fast-talking leader of a gang of escaped convicts crossing Depression-era Mississippi to get home and ending up in a number of tight spots. I manage to avoid singing along by jabbering incessantly. I compare the story to the Homeric epic on which it is (very loosely) based as well as to Preston Sturgess's Sullivan's Travels, where it gets its name. And I explain various 1930s customs, manners, cars, and secret organizations whose name I need not mention.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2009/01/commentary-o-brother-where-art-thou/feed/ 0 1:43:46 Netflix — IMDb The Coen Brothers succeed in creating an almost magical pastiche of 1930s crime and ancient Greek epic and even make it funny, with ... Netflix — IMDb The Coen Brothers succeed in creating an almost magical pastiche of 1930s crime and ancient Greek epic and even make it funny, with George Clooney as the fast-talking leader of a gang of escaped convicts crossing Depression-era Mississippi to get home and ending up in a number of tight spots. I manage to avoid singing along by jabbering incessantly. I compare the story to the Homeric epic on which it is (very loosely) based as well as to Preston Sturgess's Sullivan's Travels, where it gets its name. And I explain various 1930s customs, manners, cars, and secret organizations whose name I need not mention. This is the region 1 DVD release. Start the film with the studio logo at the same time you start the commentary. (49 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/commentary-dracula/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/commentary-dracula/#comments Fri, 31 Oct 2008 03:18:01 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/commentary-dracula/ Just in time for Halloween! A campy lawyer becomes a bug-eating lunatic in thrall to the king of all vampires: Count Dracula, as personified by Bela Lugosi. I compare the film to the Bram Stoker novel, to the stage play, and to other Dracula movies. I point out how the film set the standard for vampires from the incredible opening featuring the brides of Dracula (and the possums of Dracula) to the thrilling discussion-on-a-divan scenes to the pulse-racing discussion-on-a-staircase scenes to the chilling look-over-there-while-I-stab-Dracula ending. I mix up Joan Standing (the English nurse) and Moon Carroll (the American maid). Maybe there are no fangs and no blood (or score); maybe the actors all stand motionless to deliver their lines, maybe everything interesting happens off-screen, but this is the granddaddy of 'em all and well worth a look.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/commentary-dracula/feed/ 0 1:16:40 Netflix — IMDb Just in time for Halloween! A campy lawyer becomes a bug-eating lunatic in thrall to the king of all vampires: Count Dracula, as ... Netflix — IMDb Just in time for Halloween! A campy lawyer becomes a bug-eating lunatic in thrall to the king of all vampires: Count Dracula, as personified by Bela Lugosi. I compare the film to the Bram Stoker novel, to the stage play, and to other Dracula movies. I point out how the film set the standard for vampires from the incredible opening featuring the brides of Dracula (and the possums of Dracula) to the thrilling discussion-on-a-divan scenes to the pulse-racing discussion-on-a-staircase scenes to the chilling look-over-there-while-I-stab-Dracula ending. I mix up Joan Standing (the English nurse) and Moon Carroll (the American maid). Maybe there are no fangs and no blood (or score); maybe the actors all stand motionless to deliver their lines, maybe everything interesting happens off-screen, but this is the granddaddy of 'em all and well worth a look. Bonus: The entire book! Searchable and skimmable! Start the film with the original studio title (not the new Universal logo, if there is one) at the same time you start the commentary. (36 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/commentary-the-goonies/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/commentary-the-goonies/#comments Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:26:47 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/commentary-the-goonies/ Sean Astin leads his hearty band of adventurers—plus his older brother.. and a couple of girls—thru the caverns underneath the rocky coast near his home town in a search for the legendary lost treasure of One-Eyed Willy! I examine the three-part story structure, the emotional arc of each character, and Willy's weird music/skeleton obsession. I admire Mikey's leadership, Troy's Mustang GT, and Andy's panties. I contemplate the nature of the "Goondocks." I point out the age of the various kids (surprise! Josh is younger than Kerry!). I examine the structure of the two-parent Walsh family and single-parent TV families. I wonder about the distance from the lighthouse to the country club. And I wonder about how Data apparently walked in from a Warner Brothers cartoon and how a Chinese character with a Japanese love for technology could be played by a Vietnamese actor.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/commentary-the-goonies/feed/ 0 1:49:42 Netflix — IMDb Sean Astin leads his hearty band of adventurers—plus his older brother.. and a couple of girls—thru the caverns underneath the rocky coast near ... Netflix — IMDb Sean Astin leads his hearty band of adventurers—plus his older brother.. and a couple of girls—thru the caverns underneath the rocky coast near his home town in a search for the legendary lost treasure of One-Eyed Willy! I examine the three-part story structure, the emotional arc of each character, and Willy's weird music/skeleton obsession. I admire Mikey's leadership, Troy's Mustang GT, and Andy's panties. I contemplate the nature of the "Goondocks." I point out the age of the various kids (surprise! Josh is younger than Kerry!). I examine the structure of the two-parent Walsh family and single-parent TV families. I wonder about the distance from the lighthouse to the country club. And I wonder about how Data apparently walked in from a Warner Brothers cartoon and how a Chinese character with a Japanese love for technology could be played by a Vietnamese actor. I misstate that Martin Sheen played John F Kennedy in an episode of Spielberg's Amazing Stories when it was actually the TV movie Kennedy. I was actually mixing it up with an episode of The Twilight Zone called "Profile in Silver". Start the film with the studio title at the same time you start the commentary. (52 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/alien/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/alien/#comments Sat, 11 Oct 2008 15:25:39 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=113 Ridley Scott starts the Alien franchise rolling with Alien, the story of a humble xenomorph born into a hostile world full of potential hosts that he must struggle to maim and prepare for embryo impregnation. But there is a spunky gal in a space panties that has it out for him! Join me as I dissect this alien. I discuss the structure and pulp origins of the film, the similarities between Ridley Scott and Stanley Kubrick, and the mysterious connections between Gunsmoke and American science fiction. I compare the film to WW2 submarine movies, Star Wars, Mission Impossible (for which I drop a spoiler), and teenage slasher films. I suggest that Veronica Cartwright's career might have been derailed by snot. I complain about Star Trek: First Contact. I say that Dallas portrays alien characteristics when I mean hero characteristics. I say that we're "still in the third act" when I mean the second act.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/10/alien/feed/ 0 1:55:50 Netflix — IMDb Ridley Scott starts the Alien franchise rolling with Alien, the story of a humble xenomorph born into a hostile world full of potential ... Netflix — IMDb Ridley Scott starts the Alien franchise rolling with Alien, the story of a humble xenomorph born into a hostile world full of potential hosts that he must struggle to maim and prepare for embryo impregnation. But there is a spunky gal in a space panties that has it out for him! Join me as I dissect this alien. I discuss the structure and pulp origins of the film, the similarities between Ridley Scott and Stanley Kubrick, and the mysterious connections between Gunsmoke and American science fiction. I compare the film to WW2 submarine movies, Star Wars, Mission Impossible (for which I drop a spoiler), and teenage slasher films. I suggest that Veronica Cartwright's career might have been derailed by snot. I complain about Star Trek: First Contact. I say that Dallas portrays alien characteristics when I mean hero characteristics. I say that we're "still in the third act" when I mean the second act. Start the film before the 20th Century Fox title at the same time you start the commentary. (54 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/09/commentary-goldfinger/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/09/commentary-goldfinger/#comments Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:51:44 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2010/06/commentary-goldfinger/ Bond is back again in probably the most popular—and certainly most influential—James Bond film. He's asked to check out Auric Goldfinger in this one, and uncovers a dastardly plot to steal—wait for it—gold! I discuss the gold-painted girl, the Aston Martin DB5, the idea of substituting golf for baccarat, the plausibility of putting a Lincoln Continental in a Ranchero, the plausibility of machismo overcoming lesbianism, the US Army's sense of humor, and, of course, Pussy Galore.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/09/commentary-goldfinger/feed/ 0 1:50:24 Netflix — IMDb Bond is back again in probably the most popular—and certainly most influential—James Bond film. He's asked to check out Auric Goldfinger in ... Netflix — IMDb Bond is back again in probably the most popular—and certainly most influential—James Bond film. He's asked to check out Auric Goldfinger in this one, and uncovers a dastardly plot to steal—wait for it—gold! I discuss the gold-painted girl, the Aston Martin DB5, the idea of substituting golf for baccarat, the plausibility of putting a Lincoln Continental in a Ranchero, the plausibility of machismo overcoming lesbianism, the US Army's sense of humor, and, of course, Pussy Galore. Start the film before the Universal title at the same time you start the commentary. (51 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/09/commentary-raiders-of-the-lost-ark/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/09/commentary-raiders-of-the-lost-ark/#comments Mon, 01 Sep 2008 16:06:25 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2008/09/commentary-raiders-of-the-lost-ark/ Harrison Ford breathes life into another icon when he picks up the whip and fedora offered by George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kasdan. I talk about the film's origins and episodic nature, call it "nearly perfect," and point out its various imperfections. I ponder the nature of the triple villain and the character arc that Indy travels. I compare it to romantic comedies and serials of the 1930s and '40s, and to the other Indiana Jones films. I say 1935 a couple of times when I mean 1936. I say Martin Scorsese directed Tucker when I mean Francis Ford Coppola. And I squeeze in a reference to Yakima Canutt.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/09/commentary-raiders-of-the-lost-ark/feed/ 0 1:53:11 Netflix — IMDb Harrison Ford breathes life into another icon when he picks up the whip and fedora offered by George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, ... Netflix — IMDb Harrison Ford breathes life into another icon when he picks up the whip and fedora offered by George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kasdan. I talk about the film's origins and episodic nature, call it "nearly perfect," and point out its various imperfections. I ponder the nature of the triple villain and the character arc that Indy travels. I compare it to romantic comedies and serials of the 1930s and '40s, and to the other Indiana Jones films. I say 1935 a couple of times when I mean 1936. I say Martin Scorsese directed Tucker when I mean Francis Ford Coppola. And I squeeze in a reference to Yakima Canutt. I watched the US release on DVD from the boxed set. The commentary should work with any other version unless Lucas does something stupid with the Blu-Ray release (like replacing Marion's final 'drink' dialog with: "By the way, Indy, what do you think of the name 'Mutt'?"). Start the commentary just before the Paramount logo fades in. (52 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/03/commentary-seinfeld-08x08-the-chicken-roaster/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/03/commentary-seinfeld-08x08-the-chicken-roaster/#comments Sun, 23 Mar 2008 01:46:11 +0000 Andrew Cole http://1721796107 A Kenny Rogers' Roasters restaurant moves in across the street and beams red light into Kramer's apartment day and night, so he gets Jerry to switch apartments. Elaine buys George a sable hat on the Peterman account along with a load of other things for herself, then gets audited by their accountant. I take apart this classic eighth season episode scene by scene, praising all its loopy goodness and gently pointing out its mild gaps.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/03/commentary-seinfeld-08x08-the-chicken-roaster/feed/ 0 23:58 Netflix — IMDb A Kenny Rogers' Roasters restaurant moves in across the street and beams red light into Kramer's apartment day and night, so he gets ... Netflix — IMDb A Kenny Rogers' Roasters restaurant moves in across the street and beams red light into Kramer's apartment day and night, so he gets Jerry to switch apartments. Elaine buys George a sable hat on the Peterman account along with a load of other things for herself, then gets audited by their accountant. I take apart this classic eighth season episode scene by scene, praising all its loopy goodness and gently pointing out its mild gaps. Start the commentary when I tell you to press Play. (11 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/03/commentary-hot-fuzz/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/03/commentary-hot-fuzz/#comments Sun, 09 Mar 2008 16:02:52 +0000 Andrew Cole http://2124586948 Simon Pegg knocks one out of the... cricket pitch(?) as super cop Nicolas Angle Angel, who gets reassigned to sleepy little Sanford and discovers that there is an evil there that does not sleep. Nick Frost pulls duty as his comic sidekick and film professor. And a host of fantastic British actors support Pegg and director Edgar Wright's brilliant and hilarious screenplay. I focus on the failures in it, of course. But I do heap praise where praise heaps are due. I focus mostly on the themes and intricacies of the plot. I compare it to other films in various genres, including Cars, Doc Hollywood, Sharky's Machine, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Shaun of the Dead, Point Break, Bad Boys II, romantic comedies, and spaghetti westerns. But I'm nothing compared to Wright and Tarantino. Check out my voluminous list of films that Edgar Wright and Quentin Tarantino talk about in their own weird meta-commentary.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/03/commentary-hot-fuzz/feed/ 0 1:57:06 Netflix — IMDb Simon Pegg knocks one out of the... cricket pitch(?) as super cop Nicolas Angle Angel, who gets reassigned to sleepy little Sanford and ... Netflix — IMDb Simon Pegg knocks one out of the... cricket pitch(?) as super cop Nicolas Angle Angel, who gets reassigned to sleepy little Sanford and discovers that there is an evil there that does not sleep. Nick Frost pulls duty as his comic sidekick and film professor. And a host of fantastic British actors support Pegg and director Edgar Wright's brilliant and hilarious screenplay. I focus on the failures in it, of course. But I do heap praise where praise heaps are due. I focus mostly on the themes and intricacies of the plot. I compare it to other films in various genres, including Cars, Doc Hollywood, Sharky's Machine, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Shaun of the Dead, Point Break, Bad Boys II, romantic comedies, and spaghetti westerns. But I'm nothing compared to Wright and Tarantino. Check out my voluminous list of films that Edgar Wright and Quentin Tarantino talk about in their own weird meta-commentary. I watched the 3-disk US special edition release. It should be the same as the standard DVD release. Start the commentary with the whistles and sirens. (55 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/02/commentary-cars/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/02/commentary-cars/#comments Sat, 09 Feb 2008 16:14:17 +0000 Andrew Cole http://1755868864 Owen Wilson is the voice of Lightning McQueen, the superfast city boy race car who is on his way to California to win the Piston Cup, if only he can ever get out of little old Radiator Springs. Paul Newman is wise old Doc Hudson and Larry the Cable Guy is dumb old Larry the Cable Truck, or should have been. Bonnie Hunt is way sexier than an automobile has a right to be, which causes me to ponder car anatomy. I complain about the title of the film. I explain the concept of setup and payoff. And I explore the difference between American-style animation and Japanese-style animation. But I focus primarily on the two main stories that conflict and the two sub-plots that complicate things further and how the film manages to keep them all from tearing the film apart.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/02/commentary-cars/feed/ 0 1:52:25 Netflix — IMDb Owen Wilson is the voice of Lightning McQueen, the superfast city boy race car who is on his way to California to win ... Netflix — IMDb Owen Wilson is the voice of Lightning McQueen, the superfast city boy race car who is on his way to California to win the Piston Cup, if only he can ever get out of little old Radiator Springs. Paul Newman is wise old Doc Hudson and Larry the Cable Guy is dumb old Larry the Cable Truck, or should have been. Bonnie Hunt is way sexier than an automobile has a right to be, which causes me to ponder car anatomy. I complain about the title of the film. I explain the concept of setup and payoff. And I explore the difference between American-style animation and Japanese-style animation. But I focus primarily on the two main stories that conflict and the two sub-plots that complicate things further and how the film manages to keep them all from tearing the film apart. This is the US Blu-Ray release. It should be essentially the same as the standard DVD release, but foreign releases may be slightly diferent, since Pixar replaced some voices and names for local color and may have made other changes. Start the commentary with the Walt Disney Pictures logo. (51 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/02/commentary-vanishing-point/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/02/commentary-vanishing-point/#comments Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:19:43 +0000 Andrew Cole http://1518157220 Barry Newman is the mysterious man in the white Dodge Challenger, running away from the cops and his own screwed up life. I discuss the movie as a meditation on motivation, an allegory for the lost soul, and as a Caterpiller promotional film. I compare it (somewhat) with the 1997 version and with Smokey and the Bandit and American Westerns, but mostly with ancient mythology. I boldly suggest that beautiful women can represent both innocence and death, depending on whether they are nude or wearing a cloak and that "J. Hovah" is a little too on-the-nose for a character name. And I use my new CO3U microphone with very good results.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/02/commentary-vanishing-point/feed/ 0 1:47:28 Netflix — IMDb Barry Newman is the mysterious man in the white Dodge Challenger, running away from the cops and his own screwed up life. ... Netflix — IMDb Barry Newman is the mysterious man in the white Dodge Challenger, running away from the cops and his own screwed up life. I discuss the movie as a meditation on motivation, an allegory for the lost soul, and as a Caterpiller promotional film. I compare it (somewhat) with the 1997 version and with Smokey and the Bandit and American Westerns, but mostly with ancient mythology. I boldly suggest that beautiful women can represent both innocence and death, depending on whether they are nude or wearing a cloak and that "J. Hovah" is a little too on-the-nose for a character name. And I use my new CO3U microphone with very good results. This is the UK version on the R1 US (NTSC) release (it's on the back of the DVD with the US version). It includes a scene with Charlotte Rampling as a mysterious hitchhiker that was not in the US version. Start the commentary with the start of the vintage 20th Century Fox logo. (51 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2008/01/commentary-from-russia-with-love/ http://www.tysto.com/2008/01/commentary-from-russia-with-love/#comments Sat, 26 Jan 2008 16:46:17 +0000 Andrew Cole http://1655494959 Bond is back in one of the best but not best-remembered Bond flicks. Here, he is the subject of a direct attempt to kill him by involving him in a trap that SPECTRE knows he'll fall for precisely because he knows it's a trap. The lovely but naive Tatiana Romanova is their patsy and Red Grant their oiled-up angel of death. Along the way, a Gypsy catfight goes on too long, Bond keeps forgetting why he's in Istanbul and why he stole the Lector device. Tatiana redeems herself in the third ending, and I wonder how Bond is going to explain her to his girlfriend. I don't have the book to do extensive comparisons, but I do identify most of the cars, not that Bond drives them; he only drives a Chevy pickup.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2008/01/commentary-from-russia-with-love/feed/ 0 1:55:46 Netflix — IMDb Bond is back in one of the best but not best-remembered Bond flicks. Here, he is the subject of a direct attempt ... Netflix — IMDb Bond is back in one of the best but not best-remembered Bond flicks. Here, he is the subject of a direct attempt to kill him by involving him in a trap that SPECTRE knows he'll fall for precisely because he knows it's a trap. The lovely but naive Tatiana Romanova is their patsy and Red Grant their oiled-up angel of death. Along the way, a Gypsy catfight goes on too long, Bond keeps forgetting why he's in Istanbul and why he stole the Lector device. Tatiana redeems herself in the third ending, and I wonder how Bond is going to explain her to his girlfriend. I don't have the book to do extensive comparisons, but I do identify most of the cars, not that Bond drives them; he only drives a Chevy pickup. Start the film with the roaring lion at the same time you start the commentary. (54 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/12/commentary-dr-no/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/12/commentary-dr-no/#comments Sun, 30 Dec 2007 02:54:25 +0000 Andrew Cole http://256722968 The James Bond series leaps into action with guns blazing as Sean Connery spends several hours talking to British colonial officials and wandering around Jamaica looking for a clue. Then he turns up the heat and starts blasting by sneaking around an island for a while, hoping not to get captured, before getting captured. Okay, it's a little slow for what we've come to expect, but in 1962, this rocked. And even today, Miss Taro and Honey Ryder can still make your palms sweat. I compare the film to the book thruout and look for motifs, iconic elements, and firsts. I compare it to the Flint and Austin Powers movies that it inspired and to other Bond flicks. Note: Some comments are shaken while others are stirred. Somehow I make the bizarre mistake of saying that Sean Connery appeared in Zulu Dawn.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/12/commentary-dr-no/feed/ 0 1:50:37 Netflix — IMDb The James Bond series leaps into action with guns blazing as Sean Connery spends several hours talking to British colonial officials and wandering ... Netflix — IMDb The James Bond series leaps into action with guns blazing as Sean Connery spends several hours talking to British colonial officials and wandering around Jamaica looking for a clue. Then he turns up the heat and starts blasting by sneaking around an island for a while, hoping not to get captured, before getting captured. Okay, it's a little slow for what we've come to expect, but in 1962, this rocked. And even today, Miss Taro and Honey Ryder can still make your palms sweat. I compare the film to the book thruout and look for motifs, iconic elements, and firsts. I compare it to the Flint and Austin Powers movies that it inspired and to other Bond flicks. Note: Some comments are shaken while others are stirred. Somehow I make the bizarre mistake of saying that Sean Connery appeared in Zulu Dawn. Start the film at the same time you start the commentary. (52 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/12/commentary-ghostbusters/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/12/commentary-ghostbusters/#comments Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:08:28 +0000 Andrew Cole http://860794420 An imperfect commentary for a nearly perfect film. Bill Murray is chief idiot to Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis in a modern Marx Brothers-style epic comedy thriller. Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, and Ernie Hudson support, not to mention Rick Moranis, William Atherton, and Yugoslavian supermodel Slavitza. Director Ivan Reitman delivers the goods in thrills and chills while the top-talent cast supplies the laughs. I describe the statue-spirit motif, the dual-story structure of the plot, the cartoonish nature of the Ghostbusters which makes them inherently merchandisable, and the evils of synthesizer music. I mistakenly say that Gozer has a "Grace Slick haircut" when I mean a "Grace Jones haircut."]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/12/commentary-ghostbusters/feed/ 0 1:41:37 Netflix — IMDb An imperfect commentary for a nearly perfect film. Bill Murray is chief idiot to Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis in a modern ... Netflix — IMDb An imperfect commentary for a nearly perfect film. Bill Murray is chief idiot to Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis in a modern Marx Brothers-style epic comedy thriller. Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, and Ernie Hudson support, not to mention Rick Moranis, William Atherton, and Yugoslavian supermodel Slavitza. Director Ivan Reitman delivers the goods in thrills and chills while the top-talent cast supplies the laughs. I describe the statue-spirit motif, the dual-story structure of the plot, the cartoonish nature of the Ghostbusters which makes them inherently merchandisable, and the evils of synthesizer music. I mistakenly say that Gozer has a "Grace Slick haircut" when I mean a "Grace Jones haircut." UPDATE: I've filled in most of the long quiet stretches with more piercing and insightful observations like "Sigourney Weaver is a year older than Bill Murray." Start the film at the same time you start the commentary. (48 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/11/commentary-murder-at-1600/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/11/commentary-murder-at-1600/#comments Tue, 27 Nov 2007 17:18:42 +0000 Andrew Cole http://831661021 Third in my White-House-related commentaries, overly-dramatic lighting, multiple freak rainstorms, and a complete failure to get Diane Lane's shirt soaking wet detract from a fairly taut, multi-layered thriller. Wesley Snipes is a swaggering DC homicide cop who somehow beats the snot out of several highly-trained Secret Service agents and government assassins. Diane Lane kicks his side until she get a chance to save his ass. Alan Alda and that creepy guy from The Agency play "good cop, creepy cop." Dennis Miller miraculously avoids smirking too much. I say "that doesn't make sense" too much and explain a lot about the White House.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/11/commentary-murder-at-1600/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb Third in my White-House-related commentaries, overly-dramatic lighting, multiple freak rainstorms, and a complete failure to get Diane Lane's shirt soaking wet ... Netflix — IMDb Third in my White-House-related commentaries, overly-dramatic lighting, multiple freak rainstorms, and a complete failure to get Diane Lane's shirt soaking wet detract from a fairly taut, multi-layered thriller. Wesley Snipes is a swaggering DC homicide cop who somehow beats the snot out of several highly-trained Secret Service agents and government assassins. Diane Lane kicks his side until she get a chance to save his ass. Alan Alda and that creepy guy from The Agency play "good cop, creepy cop." Dennis Miller miraculously avoids smirking too much. I say "that doesn't make sense" too much and explain a lot about the White House. Bonus: Visit the White House Museum to see the areas described in the commentary, like the Residence first floor and West Wing. Start the film at the same time you start the commentary. (50 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/11/commentary-the-american-president/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/11/commentary-the-american-president/#comments Mon, 05 Nov 2007 23:09:58 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/?p=178 A romantic comedy (at least I think it's a comedy) set in the White House, with Michael Douglas as a widowed president and Annette Bening as a flustered and flattered—yet somehow hard-as-nails—lobbyist trying to conduct a romance while politics intervenes. The public's negative response to the romance is a little silly. The staff's panic is a little overdone. But the dialog is sharp and the direction is tight, which helps the film over its bumps. The White House art direction looks beautiful, which I explain at great length, as I did for The Sentinel. However, I misstate the case about the state dinner depicted; it was based on the Yeltsin dinner during the Clinton administration.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/11/commentary-the-american-president/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb A romantic comedy (at least I think it's a comedy) set in the White House, with Michael Douglas as a widowed president and ... Netflix — IMDb A romantic comedy (at least I think it's a comedy) set in the White House, with Michael Douglas as a widowed president and Annette Bening as a flustered and flattered—yet somehow hard-as-nails—lobbyist trying to conduct a romance while politics intervenes. The public's negative response to the romance is a little silly. The staff's panic is a little overdone. But the dialog is sharp and the direction is tight, which helps the film over its bumps. The White House art direction looks beautiful, which I explain at great length, as I did for The Sentinel. However, I misstate the case about the state dinner depicted; it was based on the Yeltsin dinner during the Clinton administration. Bonus: Visit the White House Museum to see the areas described in the commentary, like the Residence second floor and West Wing first floor. Start the commentary at the same time you start the movie. (51 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-wizard-of-oz/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-wizard-of-oz/#comments Mon, 22 Jan 2007 17:06:13 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-american-president-copy/ Little Judy Garland wins friends and kills witches dead in her vain attempts to just find a way back to Kansas. I compare the movie extensively to the original novel. I explain the concept of a frame story and the minor inconsistencies in the plot, like the troublesome character of Professor Marvel. I use the word brilliant too much. I suggest that Playboy, if it had been around in 1939, might have done a pictorial of the "Girls of the Emerald City Wash & Brush Up Co." I compare the Wicked Witch to Jaws. I suggest that the movie should have been remade in 1985 with Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I beg children not the follow the film's advice of not looking for a better life beyond your own back yard.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-wizard-of-oz/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb Little Judy Garland wins friends and kills witches dead in her vain attempts to just find a way back to Kansas. I compare ... Netflix — IMDb Little Judy Garland wins friends and kills witches dead in her vain attempts to just find a way back to Kansas. I compare the movie extensively to the original novel. I explain the concept of a frame story and the minor inconsistencies in the plot, like the troublesome character of Professor Marvel. I use the word brilliant too much. I suggest that Playboy, if it had been around in 1939, might have done a pictorial of the "Girls of the Emerald City Wash & Brush Up Co." I compare the Wicked Witch to Jaws. I suggest that the movie should have been remade in 1985 with Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I beg children not the follow the film's advice of not looking for a better life beyond your own back yard. Bonus: The entire book! Searchable and skimmable! Start the commentary as soon as you start the movie. (47 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-sentinel/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-sentinel/#comments Sat, 20 Jan 2007 17:56:12 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2007/06/commentary-the-sentinel/ Secret Service agent Michael Douglas squares off against Kiefer Sutherland while Eva Longoria looks on. I compare the film to In the Line of Fire, the main point being that, here, the hero is "secretly serving" the first lady and not his partner. I also explain every detail of the White House interiors, given my intimate familiarity, including where the director and producer are wrong in their commentary. And I contemplate the possibility that the Canadian mounties fingerprinted Paul Bunyan in 1875.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-sentinel/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb Secret Service agent Michael Douglas squares off against Kiefer Sutherland while Eva Longoria looks on. I compare the film to In the Line ... Netflix — IMDb Secret Service agent Michael Douglas squares off against Kiefer Sutherland while Eva Longoria looks on. I compare the film to In the Line of Fire, the main point being that, here, the hero is "secretly serving" the first lady and not his partner. I explain my Kiefer Sutherland Rule of Cinema. I wonder how a guy like Walter Xavier even keeps up on the sports scores, let alone gets information about an assassination plot. I also explain every detail of the White House interiors, given my intimate familiarity, including where the director and producer are wrong in their commentary and how the Secret Service offices seem to be as big as the entire rest of the West Wing. I offer choice tidbits of presidential history and the origin of Camp David. And I contemplate the possibility that the Canadian mounties fingerprinted Paul Bunyan in 1875. Bonus: We built an entire Web site to explain the location of this movie: White House Museum. That's service, my friends, and it's no secret. Start the commentary at the same time you start the movie. (48 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-6th-day/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-6th-day/#comments Fri, 19 Jan 2007 18:20:07 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2010/05/commentary-the-sentinel-copy/ It's Arnold and Arnold in an action adventure that probes the delicate social issues of the day and shoots them with lasers! I compare the film to Total Recall, Minority Report, James Bond, Frankenstein, and others. I mix up my Michaels. I get totally creeped out by the Simpal Cindy doll. I raise the delicate question of why Judi Dench is never cast in this kind of film. I point out plot holes such as "why does any of this happen?" I boldly postulate that the bad guys are not nearly as bad as some of the good guys.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-the-6th-day/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb It's Arnold and Arnold in an action adventure that probes the delicate social issues of the day and shoots them with lasers! I ... Netflix — IMDb It's Arnold and Arnold in an action adventure that probes the delicate social issues of the day and shoots them with lasers! I compare the film to Total Recall, Minority Report, James Bond, Frankenstein, and others. I mix up my Michaels. I get totally creeped out by the Simpal Cindy doll. I raise the delicate question of why Judi Dench is never cast in this kind of film. I point out plot holes such as "why does any of this happen?" I boldly postulate that the bad guys are not nearly as bad as some of the good guys. I also boldly postulate that Michael Rappaport is not a cat person, but I may still have him mixed up with Michael Rooker or possibly Michael Ironside. I make the mistake of saying that Adam 1 got a RePet instead of a Simpal Cindy, when both Adam 1 and Adam 2 got Simpals. Plus: free advice to young filmmakers and mad industrialists! Start the commentary file as soon as you start the movie. (55 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-total-recall/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-total-recall/#comments Wed, 10 Jan 2007 18:23:32 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-total-recall/ Not my favorite movie, but a classic part of the Schwarzenegger oeuvre. I compare it to The 6th Day and other films and explain where it goes off the rails regardless of which story you believe: the dream story, the reality story, or the alternate reality story, or even the alternate-alternate reality story.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-total-recall/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb Not my favorite movie, but a classic part of the Schwarzenegger oeuvre. I compare it to The 6th Day and other films and ... Netflix — IMDb Not my favorite movie, but a classic part of the Schwarzenegger oeuvre. I compare it to The 6th Day and other films and explain where it goes off the rails regardless of which story you believe: the dream story, the reality story, or the alternate reality story, or even the alternate-alternate reality story. I say "If this is reality..." too many times and get distracted by Sharon Stone. And I get carried away with saying that Paul Verhoeven got carried away with the head games. I don't bother much with the science, but I do make fun of Cohaagen's henchmen being the worst secret agents ever. Start the commentary file as soon as you see the DVD player register 0h 0m 1s. (52 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-foul-play/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-foul-play/#comments Sun, 07 Jan 2007 18:33:17 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-foul-play/ A great romantic comedy/thriller from 1978 starring Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase. Hawn fends off the world with a yellow umbrella. Chase embraces the world clumsily. Dudley Moore tries to screw the world unsuccessfully. The pope thinks The Mikado is supposed to end with dead guys hanging from the mast of a ship from another production. Maybe he just thinks it's "far out." I don't talk quite as much in this one, but I think the observations are a little richer insights into theme, character, and plotting, and not narrating the scenes so much. I forget to mention that the title is a play on words, since the assassination attempt occurs during a stage performance—a comic opera, actually, but Foul Opera would sound silly. I did slip in a mention in editing that the setup is borrowed from The Man Who Knew Too Much.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-foul-play/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb A great romantic comedy/thriller from 1978 starring Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase. Hawn fends off the world with a yellow umbrella. Chase embraces ... Netflix — IMDb A great romantic comedy/thriller from 1978 starring Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase. Hawn fends off the world with a yellow umbrella. Chase embraces the world clumsily. Dudley Moore tries to screw the world unsuccessfully. The pope thinks The Mikado is supposed to end with dead guys hanging from the mast of a ship from another production. Maybe he just thinks it's "far out." I don't talk quite as much in this one, but I think the observations are a little richer insights into theme, character, and plotting, and not narrating the scenes so much. I forget to mention that the title is a play on words, since the assassination attempt occurs during a stage performance—a comic opera, actually, but Foul Opera would sound silly. I did slip in a mention in editing that the setup is borrowed from The Man Who Knew Too Much. Bonus: The opening scene location and angle in Google Earth (turn on 3D buildings to see the Golden Gate Bridge) Start the movie by pressing Play when I give the instruction. (54 MB). Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-la-dolce-vita/ http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-la-dolce-vita/#comments Tue, 02 Jan 2007 18:47:43 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-la-dolce-vita/ Ooh la la! An attempt at doing a commentary on a film I've never seen before. I watch this Fellini classic for the very first time, recording my amusement, confusion, frustration, and eventual disappointment. If you already know and love the film, laugh at my provincial attitude. If you hate it, laugh with me while I try desperately to enjoy it. I mention how the word paparazzi comes from the character of Paparazzo. I consider how much I like Marcello Mastroianni in principle. I mock how ridiculous "Casanova Xavier" is as a name for an American rock-and-roller. I misidentify Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" as "...G Minor" (but what are a few letters between friends?) I'm moved by the tragedy that develops, but ultimately feel that it is squandered, which may have been Fellini's point, for all I know.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2007/01/commentary-la-dolce-vita/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb Ooh la la! A silly experimental avant garde attempt at doing a commentary on a film I've never seen before. I watch this ... Netflix — IMDb Ooh la la! A silly experimental avant garde attempt at doing a commentary on a film I've never seen before. I watch this Fellini classic for the very first time, recording my amusement, confusion, frustration, and eventual disappointment. If you already know and love the film, laugh at my provincial attitude. If you hate it, laugh with me while I try desperately to enjoy it. I mention how the word paparazzi comes from the character of Paparazzo. I consider how much I like Marcello Mastroianni in principle. I mock how ridiculous "Casanova Xavier" is as a name for an American rock-and-roller. I misidentify Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" as "...G Minor" (but what are a few letters between friends?) I'm moved by the tragedy that develops, but ultimately feel that it is squandered, which may have been Fellini's point, for all I know. Start the movie when at the very beginning credits when I give the instruction. (81 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no http://www.tysto.com/2006/12/commentary-casablanca/ http://www.tysto.com/2006/12/commentary-casablanca/#comments Fri, 29 Dec 2006 18:58:00 +0000 Andrew Cole http://www.tysto.com/2006/12/commentary-casablanca/ My favorite film. I did a commentary for this a couple of years ago that was good but sounded lousy and was in three parts. With everybody downloading big podcasts over broadband, it might as well be in one file, so I've rerecorded it. I describe the historical context as well as the themes and how the plot points are foreshadowed and resolved. I explain the "General DeGaulle/Weygand" mix-up and how the characters relate to the larger picture of Europe in the midst of World War 2, particularly how characters are introduced early and kept alive in the background until they become important.]]> http://www.tysto.com/2006/12/commentary-casablanca/feed/ 0 00:01:01 Netflix — IMDb My favorite film. I did a commentary for this a couple of years ago that was good but sounded lousy and was in ... Netflix — IMDb My favorite film. I did a commentary for this a couple of years ago that was good but sounded lousy and was in three parts. With everybody downloading big podcasts over broadband, it might as well be in one file, so I've rerecorded it. I describe the historical context as well as the themes and how the plot points are foreshadowed and resolved. I explain the "General DeGaulle/Weygand" mix-up and how the characters relate to the larger picture of Europe in the midst of World War 2, particularly how characters are introduced early and kept alive in the background until they become important. Note: I mistakenly say that Rick fought in Spain in 1935, when the film clearly says 1936 (the Spanish Civil War didn't start until mid-1936). Start the movie at the very beginning credits when I give the instruction. (49 MB) Entertainment Tysto.com no no