Tag Archives: CTS

Watchmen

WatchmenNetflix IMDb
Join me as I join Mike and Max of Commentary Track Stars to watch Watchmen. I’ve never read the comic book (apparently, they still made comic books for a while after 1984), but Max thinks it’s the greatest thing since sliced Shakespeare, so we discuss the relevancy and point of even having a film.

We deconstruct the story, themes, motifs, and symbolism. Max and I disagree over whether or not a human could catch a bullet, whether or not Superman could win the Vietnam War, and what Lee Iaccoca’s role in the world was. I try to figure out if Ozymandias is gay and if Jackie Earl Haley qualifies as a dwarf. Max and Mike try to figure out how Rorschach’s mask works. We all try to figure out what is meant to be satirical versus what is meant to be awesome and is actually kind of lame and also who is history’s finest nine-fingered actor.

Also, I quiz Mike and Max about other movies I am confusing with this one, but Mike nevertheless answers correctly. Max and I perform a play about gravity. Max angrily denounces Paul Verhoeven and Freepers as serial killers and sex offenders, respectively. Max reveals how he learned to tie a necktie. And Mike explains how two lines of the comic book fix the biggest thing that bothers me about the film.

We’re watching the Blu-ray director’s cut. Start the movie right after the DC logo has disappeared, on the countdown.

Batman Returns

Batman ReturnsNetflix IMDb
Batman is back! This time, Josh of Soulless Minions of Orthodoxy and Mike and Max of Commentary Track Stars take us on a dark and twisted fairy tale to Tim Burton’s Gotham City, where penguins inhabit sewers and mystical cats roam alleyways freely.

We like the film better than the Schumacher films, but no one likes it as much as I do. It’s my favorite of the four. Why are we doing them in reverse order? Because WE’RE CRAZY. Not crazy enough to run around in leather and vinyl, fighting crime, but pretty crazy.

We’re watching the Blu-ray and R1 NTSC versions. Start the movie after the Warner Brothers logo, just as the house is fading up, on the countdown.

Batman Forever

Batman ForeverNetflix IMDb
Join me as I again join Josh from Soulless Minions of Orthodoxy and Mike from Commentary Tracks Stars as we lament the awfulness of Joel Schumacher’s Batman Forever. We don’t have quite the fun we had with Batman & Robin, but there’s plenty to discuss.

We note most of the costume changes (and reel changes), compare the film to others in the Batman collection, and speculate on what might have been and what might be in the store for Batman in the future.

Start the film right after the Warner Brothers logo has morphed into a bat and the Warner Brothers title card has faded, on the countdown.

Batman & Robin

Batman and RobinNetflix IMDb
Join me as I join Josh from Soulless Minions of Orthodoxy, Mike and Damon from Geek Fights, and (about 90 minutes in) Mike from Commentary Tracks Stars as we celebrate the awfulness of Joel Schumacher’s Batman & Robin. Josh is ambivalent (in that he can barely stand it). I praise the set design and remain staunchly in denial of any gay subtext. Mike and Damon profess love that sours over the course of film. And CTS Mike just despises it. Over all, we have a great deal of fun with it.

I quote my 8-year-old nephew a few times. We speculate on superhero Donald Trump and Richard Branson. We try to figure out how a 21-year-old Barbara has a mother who was young in the 1940s. We wonder why Bane is even in this movie. And we marvel that Mr. Freeze’s suit is powered by puns.

Start the film right after the Warner Brothers logo has morphed into a bat and the Warner Brothers title card has faded, on the countdown.