Join me as I join Extended Edition podcast in discussing the heartbreaking story of a military officer rebelling against his mother government and the valiant military industrialist who tries to stop him. Also: a spider-boy and his AILF.
Martin is back! (He has a codename: Faldor. Both of us do. It’s cool. It’s not weird.) We bust out of space prison and give Guardians of the Galaxy a good going over (which mainly consists of saying that it’s fun and cool and the plot is kind of unnecessary). It’s the heartwarming story of a boy who gets kidnapped and leads a life of crime and sexual depravity, with few friends and many enemies.
The film has too many villains and too many endings and some shaky acting but works anyway because of its excess of charm. We praise Marvel, Chris Pratt, Bradley Cooper, Karen Gillen, the soundtrack, and—surprisingly—James Gunn.
We guess at what the soundtrack of the sequel will include. We compare it to The Avengers, Star Wars, Moonraker, Up, Reservoir Dogs, and—spoilers—The Cabin in the Woods. For some reason, we discuss every Star Trek show and come to the conclusion that this is different. Also Firefly, because duh. We get into a fight over The Lost Boys, The Goonies, and—spoilers—The Cabin in the Woods.
We’re watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown at 0:00:00.
Just in time for the US Independence Day celebration, join Faldor (Martin from The Extended Edition) and me for a tour of the president’s mansion in Washington, DC, with your tour guide, Roland Emmerich! We praise–and occasionally knock–the CGI. We compare it to Olympus Has Fallen, obviously, Die Hard, other Roland Emmerich films, and Step Up to the Streets (not really).
I talk a bit about the geography of the White House and the nature of the Secret Service. We discuss 10 Downing Street, Jamie Foxx, my other website WhiteHouseMuseum.org, how sprinkler systems work, and why the PEOC only has black-and-white TVs.
We’re watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown with the Columbia title card after the Columbia logo.
Join Faldor (Martin from Extended Edition podcast) as he joins me again for another go at the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise! It’s the heartwarming tale of a band of plucky pirates, most of whom were dead at least once before, who rescue their friend from death and but can’t save certain other people for some reason. A bunch of other stuff happens that is hard to remember or explain, most of which is people betraying each other, and Keira Knightly has several costume changes, and Pintel and Ragetti seriously get on my nerves.
We examine the tone and motivations, try to figure out who the main character is, analyze the story as a long-form romance, and try to decide what to cut out. We discuss Johnny Depp’s portrayal and Keith Richards’ cameo. We wander off on a couple of tangents about Lord Nelson, the Patrick O’Brien novels, Treasure Island, and British television actors’ pay.
I’m watching the Region 1 DVD; Martin is watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown with the Jerry Bruckheimer logo.
Join me as I join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs and Faldor of the Extended Edition podcast for a thoro drubbing of Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. It’s the heartwarming tale of an old man trying to recapture his youth and getting his head handed to him. But enough about Ridley Scott.
We examine the themes and complications, the plot twists that don’t quite work, and the way the film repeatedly works against itself with their echoes of religion and the other Alien movies, as well as Stargate, Return of the Jedi, and Casablanca.
We’re watching the Blu-ray/HD DVR version and stay in perfect sync. Start the film on the countdown after the Scott Free logo.
Join Faldor and me for a rollicking–some would say vomit-inducing–roller coaster ride thru the mind of Gore Verbinski and friends as Jack Sparrow (and some other people) returns! Jack Sparrow (and some other people) fight the fearsome Davy Jones! (And we don’t make a single Monkees joke, somehow.) And Jack Sparrow (and some other people) fight the terrifying Kraken! Also, a hell of a lot of deals are made that are almost all reneged on, and the end makes no sense!
We analyze the meandering plot structure, the overlong set pieces, and the muddy motivations. We posit some changes that might have helped clarify or at least short the mess. And we wax philosophical about which film is better: this one or the third one.
I’m watching the R1 DVD version; Faldor is watching the Blu-ray, and we stay in sync. Start the commentary after the Bruckheimer road-and-tree logo has faded, on the countdown.
Join Faldor of The Extended Edition podcast and me for a look at the Tom Clancy bromance that is Hunt for Red October. We praise the pace despite the fact that it’s mostly people talking to each other. We discuss the way the opening hides Ramius’ intentions. And we wonder whether or not the silent drive helps Ramius.
We’re watching streaming and DVR versions. Start the commentary after the Paramount logo, on the countdown.
Faldor joins me again for the second of the Bourne movies (unless you count the TV movie with Richard Chamberlain, WHICH NO ONE DOES). Faldor claims that it’s a bad movie. I claim that it’s a good movie—specifically: Frankenstein. We compare it to the first film, Frankenstein, Bond films, Close Encounters, The Story of Anne Frank, Pirates of the Caribbean, Ronin, and—very slightly—the book it’s supposedly based on.
We agree on almost all points and yet disagree on the overall quality of the film itself. We discuss various locations in Europe, and whether or not the plot is actually necessary to the story in this case. We rewrite the film to be more character-oriented. And we touch on how technology has advanced to the point that nearly all the “high tech” stuff could be done on an iPhone.
Look for 2014 Frankenstein on the SyFy channel in the fall!. Unfortunately, The Diary of Anne Frankenstein already exists!
We’re both watching the Blu-ray, so we stay in sync. Start the commentary after the Universal logo, on the countdown.
Faldor returns to take the place of the Doctor from Speakeasy on a final(?) Star Trek commentary. We examine the film as a treatise on Shakespeare and Sherlock Holmes (and international politics and racism, whatever) and speculate on Kim Catrall’s allure.
We discuss some background on how the budget constrained Nick Meyer’s production values and how he nevertheless prevailed mightily. We like this adventure a lot, roast turkey, purple blood, and all.
I’m watching the Blu-ray theatrical cut. Faldor is watching the PAL DVD director’s cut. We try to keep clear on where we are. Start the movie after the Paramount logo, on the countdown.