Join John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs as I join him and Jimmy B to talk about The Long Kiss Goodnight. It’s a Shane Black thriller about mommies and memories set at Christmas, so it’s perfect for April of 2018, AKA the Year With No Spring.
We’re watching it on various devices. Cue up the first frame of black after the studio logo.
Jimmy B is back, and this time we’re having a look at the pilot for the 1974 action/mystery/comedy(?) Evel Knievel, named for the world’s greatest motorcycle jump daredevil, Evel Knievel. He’s played here by the fine and mustacheless Sam Elliot, and oh my god does he look like Scot Bakula. Wow. It’s uncanny. Good theme song. Nothing else of substance.
Jimmy B is back with more failed TV pilot goodness. In this episode, we look at the the Kelsey Grammar-produced sitcom Alligator Point, starring Nathan Fillion and Jaime Pressly. I love it, Jimmy hates it, and over the course of things we meet somewhere in the middle (we both hate it).
Watch along with Jimmy and me as we hark back to 1985 with our mullets and parachute pants and feast our eyes on Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime fighting bad guys and rescuing damsels and also being rescued by damsels.
We try to figure out who the real commando is. We count how many times “John Matrix” should have died (5). We laud the roles given to the female characters, even if they’re ludicrous and superfluous. We wax poetic about ’80s character actors and their credits. We applaud the ticking clock (a beeping watch) and the conspicuous lack of cell phones. And we duck and cover when all hell breaks loose at Harold Lloyd’s Victor Maitland’sArius’s house. (Beverly Hills Cop was not filmed at the Lloyd mansion, but Young Lady Chatterley II was, and I highly recommend it for the scenery.)
I identify all the cars. Jimmy becomes confused by a sex position he’s never seen (he didn’t see Young Lady Chatterley II). I reveal my secret weakness (low-oxygen environments). Jimmy casts Schwarzenegger and Stallone as Holmes and Watson (and immediately disavows it). I reveal why I washed out of commando school (poor sense of smell). Jimmy repeatedly points out who’s not being nice (almost everyone). I insult the Scottish people by comparing them to the Amish (send your angry cards and letters to Tysto c/o Donald Trump, White House, America). And Jimmy insults the Scottish people by claiming Scotland has less history than the US (send your angry cards and letters to Jimmy B c/o Donald Trump, White House, America).
We’re watching the Blu-ray and Amazon Prime Video and stay in sync. Start after the 20th Century Fox logo on the countdown.
Pop in your copy of this all-American (and some British) classic while Jimmy and I gush over just about every aspect of it. We compare it to Citizen Kane and Fellini’s 8 1/2 and Bicycle Thieves (not in so many words, but basically) and all other great films as well as several other things. It’s a road movie, a coming-of-age movie, a hero’s-journey movie, and a falling-in-love-with-a -pig movie. I forget to mention Italian commedia dell’arte, but it’s that too. It’s all things to all people.
We keep it clean and cordial. I do the world’s greatest impression of Kermit the Frog. We evaluate Doc Hopper’s business case. We reveal the shocking origin of Telly Monster. We have a falling out over mixing Sesame Street with Muppet Show characters and whether it’s okay to fall in love with a chicken. But it’s okay; we makes up over our shared hatred of Elmo. And we answer the musical question “why are there so many songs about rainbows?” (and you may not like the answer).
We’re watching the Blu-ray and stay in sync. Start at on the countdown.
SMEAR YOUR FOREHEAD WITH GREASE! SPRAY YOUR FACE WITH CHROME! DRINK GUZZLEINE IN VALHALLA WITH DONALD TRUMP’S GRANDSON IMMORTAN JOE TRUMP! IT’S MAD MAX: FURY ROAD! WITH JIMMY B! AND ENGINE NOISES! AND ELECTRIC GUITAR! AND a Skype dropout at 1:17:05 but we fix it and everything and HEAD BACK TO GET US SOME WATER!
Jimmy and I take a rambling look at Marvel’s Ant-Man (after a brief bit of confusion over which movie we’re watching) and express our (reserved) love for it. We praise the look and art design, the actors, and the writing. And we discuss which aspects of the writing and directing don’t work as well.
We’re watching HD versions and stay in sync. Start at 0:00:00 on the countdown.
Join Jimmy and me to have a lot of fun with the original The Omen. We compare it to the other films in the series, the remake, Jaws, and other Richard Donner films (hey, would Damien make a good Goonie? There’s a question we didn’t ask).
We praise the acting, wonder what God is up to these days, praise baboons for keeping us Antichrist-free for 2000 years, and eventually recast the film with Muppets.
We’re watching HD versions and stay in sync. Start after the logo, on the countdown.
Join me as I am joined by Jim Brown (the regular one, not the one from the movie) as we pursue Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Conchita Alonso thru the quads in this 1980s heartwarming tale of 2010s’ excess and televised mayhem. We compare it to other Arnie movies, The Hunger Games, Battle Royale, and modern reality TV. I praise Richard Dawson up and down. And we try to figure out why Dweezil Zappa is in this movie.
We talk about the fact that it was a troubled production, the 80s-ness of the wardrobe and whatnot, and the creepiness of the lady who might harbor rape fantasies. I think we fail to credit Stephen King as the novelist (under the Richard Bachman name). And Jimmy calls me on a Fleetwood Mac reference.
Bonus: find out which stalker I’m making a cos-play costume of!
NOTE: Skype throws us off our game a bit, I’m afraid. The connection breaks down 5 times, but I double-checked the sync. I’ve artfully covered the gaps with Fleetwood Mac music. Just bear with us.
We’re watching the Region 1 DVD, so we stay in sync. Start the film on the countdown with the Taft Entertainment title card after the Tri-Star logo.