Articles tagged ‘Speakeasy’

Commentary: Nazis at the Center of the Earth

Join me for a sight-unseen examination of The Asylum’s heartwarming tale of research scientists in Antarctica falling in and out of love and encountering (I don’t want to spoil it for you) certain challenges. I complain about the dialog and lack of active protagonists, and I root for Hitler OR DO I?

I compare the film to Futurama and, uh, films and examine the artistic choice of slow-motion. I question the science a time or two, and the choice of lenses used on Dominique Swain. I do not question the lenses used on Jake Busey. Use any lens you want; the man can’t be photographed badly.

Commentary: Dr Strangelove (w/ Speakeasy!)

Join me and Hardy Lynch of The Speakeasy for my FIRST Stanley Kubrick commentary! It’s the heartwarming story of a nation whose rogue member starts World War 3 and the brave men (and only men) who make a vague and ineffectual effort to stop it. We compare it to Fail-Safe, which came out the same year, as well as Kubrick’s other films and Mars Attacks.

We discuss the careers of Kubrick, Sellers, and Keenan Wynn. We analyze the brilliant screenplay, the analogy to Cold War tensions, and the films possible affect on the audience, including America’s leaders. And we try to recast it with Mike Meyers, Sam Rockwell, Josh Brolin, and James Earl Jones (in the Ripper role this time).

Commentary: Batman Begins (w/ Speakeasy!)

Join me as I join the Doctor and Lynch for a second go at the first of Christopher Nolan’s Batmen. We compare the film to the comic books, other Nolan Batmen, Burton/Schumaker Batmen, and The Shadow. We examine the logic of the villains’ plans and Batman’s response. And we recast Morgan Freeman as a bad guy.

Commentary: Superman Returns (w/ Speakeasy!)

Join me and Hardy Lynch of The Speakeasy as we shoot machines at the impregnable flesh of Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns. We complain about the, ahem, “familiarity” of many of the set pieces and dialog; about the things that are new and different; about the incredible coincidences, and that a lot of the minor characters have nothing to do. I complain about the physics of Superman flying and lifting a continent. Hardy complains about James Marsden being a wet noodle. We both love a few things, including Kevin Spacey and some of the action. And we wonder exactly who knows what about you-know-who when.

We compare the film to Superman, Superman 2, Terminator 2, The Matrix, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and The Five-Year Engagement. We wonder if Superman really left Metropolis to avoid paternity charges or sex offender charges. And we try to rewrite the film and fail.

Commentary: Superman 1978 (with Lynch!)

I’m back from the dead after several weeks of a bad chest cold. So join me and Hardy Lynch of The Speakeasy for a tear thru the 1978 blockbuster classic Superman (which we don’t really like very much). Thrill to the Shakespearean blarney at the beginning (which we admire), the slow roll thru 1950s America (which we love), and the screwball romance of the 1970s (which we think is great), right to the big blockbuster finale (which we hate).

We discuss Star Trek, James Bond, Gene Hackman’s career, Clark Kent’s big dope angle, the likelihood of Superman’s mom making pajamas for him, and the implausibility of most of the physics. We swoon over Lex Luthor’s lair, the cinematography, and the acting pretty much across the board.

Bonus: we wonder why the whole third act happens.
Double bonus: I only cough a few times toward the end.

Commentary: Minority Report (with Speakeasy!)

Join the Doctor and me for a long, hard look (with EYES, get it?) at Minority Report, the heartwarming story of a man who tries really hard not to get caught for a murder he hasn’t yet committed and then escapes when he IS caught and blah, blah, blah, it’s really long and looks like a commercial for itself.

We both actually like the film but are turned off by different aspects of the film making and have a lot of fun puzzling out the twisty plot and mocking the ridiculous parts. Seriously: the eyeballs, am I right?

Commentary: Star Trek V (with Speakeasy!)

At last, I rejoin the Doctor for another journey to the stars, this time to find God Himself. The Doctor takes away all my pain and yours to, if you’ll only join him in his insane quest to do commentaries for all the Star Trek movies.

We discuss the wisdom of Shatner getting to direct just because Nimoy got to direct, the likelihood that Kirk is the source of most of the pain on the Enterprise, the likelihood that I would fall for the old fan dance trick, and much, much more!

Commentary: Star Trek IV (with Speakeasy!)

It’s another Trek! Join the Doctor and me again for the one where Spock swears and Kirk fails to score and the rest of the crew does an amazing job of stealing some whales: a.k.a. “the corny one.”

Nevertheless, the Doctor and I enjoy it enormously and don’t poke too much fun at its premise of a giant space Tootsie Roll menacing Earth with a really loud stereo and traveling back in time to bring back whales to talk to it. It’s just ridiculous, but the jokes are actually mostly funny, and the characters are great.

Commentary: Blade Runner (final cut)

Join the Doctor from Speakeasy and me as we watch one of the most influential film noir movies of all time. Thrill to the dark, rainy setting! Gasp at the rumpled trenchcoats! Stand in awe of the game of 20 questions! We dissect the film as sci-fi as well as film noir. We attempt to determine what “blades” are being “run”.

We compare the film to other sci-fi movies, other Ridley Scott movies, and other Philip K Dick stories. And we discuss the possibility of Deckard being a replicant—which he DEFINITELY IS NOT BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE STUPID, RIDLEY SCOTT.

Commentary: Star Trek III (with Speakeasy!)

Join me as I join the Doctor again for our third trek! This is the one where Spock is reborn, and McCoy carries Spock’s mind alongside his own mind, and Sulu changes clothes at inappropriate times. We examine the ideas of Vulcan mind transfer, naked racism in the Federation, and the meanness of wrapping reborn people in their own death shrouds.

We also discuss whether or not McCoy almost accidentally picks up an alien prostitute, whether or not Scotty is basically R2D2, and whether or not Kirk answers Spock’s question honestly when Spock asks “The ship safe?” And along the way, you’ll learn which scientific discoveries the Doctor condemns as dangerously unpredictable and why my first sexual experience was like Spock’s.