JJ Abrams’ reboot of the storied Star Trek franchise meets its match in the form of myself and the Doctor from Speakeasy Podcast, in which we deftly pick apart the minor plot inconsistencies, such as every single thing that happens. However, we do love the film (even if it does feel like $150 million dollar fan fiction aimed at lens flare aficionados) so we fawn over the actors and effects and compare it to the original series and movies. But we also expose the ugly specter of racism and alcoholism in Starfleet (speaking of which: take a drink every time someone abandons his post as captain!).

Errata: Thruout the film, I stupidly call the Narada the Naruto. Also, grog rations were ended by the British navy in 1970. And the one where Kirk angers Spock with insults is “This Side of Paradise” and not “Shore Leave”. (Those are all mine. The Doctor’s “facts” are all “true”.)

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Kurt Russell and a bunch of “scientists” take on Rob Bottin and Stan Winston in a remake/readaptation of the 1950s monster flick, The Thing From Outer Space. The Doctor, of Speakeasy Commentaries, joins me for a third time—this time in glorious stereophonic sound. We both love the film and heap praise all over it (even on the dog) and yet fail to credit the original author, John W Campbell, Jr. (“Who Goes There”) or even the screen adapter, Bill Lancaster. We address such delicate questions as “who gets assimilated when?” “why keep rotting corpses indoors?” and “what’s with Doc Copper’s nose ring?” as well as marvel at the number of Vietnam-haunted alcoholic pot-smokers that were sent to live in the Antarctic for months at a time with firearms, dynamite, and flame-throwers.

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Robert Downey, Jr. is Tony Stark! Tony Stark is Iron Man! Join me as I join The Doctor from Speakeasy Commentaries for the second time for a transoceanic fan commentary from two ridiculous movie/comic book geeks. The Doctor proves to be more of a comic book geek, as he explains the back story and history of Iron Man in the comic books (the storyline “Demon in a Bottle” is the one where Tony confronts his alcoholism). I prove to be more of the movie and music geek, as I explain the plot of A Christmas Story (Ralphie appears as a scientist) and the connection to Ozzy Osbourne (Ozzy sang for Black Sabbath and did the song “Iron Man”). We discuss Robert Downey, Jr. and Jon Favreau’s other work and arrest records. We get off track in a discussion of national health care. The Doctor claims they’ve never shown Gilligan’s Island in England. And I claim to be excited by the prospect of a Scarlet Witch movie. However, we are both very excited by the prospect of Iron Man 2 as well as an Avengers movie, especially with Samuel L Jackson.

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Will Smith and a colorless, odorless, brunette battle the evil that is slightly buggy computer programming in this thrilling adaptation of none of Isaac Asimov’s thought-provoking works. For this, the big 50th Tysto audio commentary, I am joined by Scott of Speakeasy Commentaries, a big fan of Asimov’s work and an expert on science fiction in general. We stumble thru the introductions and then get right to the heart of mocking the product placement and the idea that this robot-filled, self-driving-car, Lake-Michigan-landfill world is only 31 years in the future of 2004. We explore sci-fi in general and Asimov in specific, as well as how terrible a driver Detective Spooner is and whether or not Doctor Lanning’s cat is a robot, as well as making some Fresh Prince of Bel-Air jokes.

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